I’m Stuck In The Friend Zone and I Want Out. Help Me!


One of the most frequent questions we get here at our relationships blog is “how do I get out of the friend zone with this guy I like?” It’s been asked 6 million ways and we’ve all taken at least one crack at answering it. This makes it worthy of a primer of sorts. But first, let’s examine how a relatively attractive woman ends up in the friend zone.

Women end up in the friend zone by: being batsh*t crazy, accident, or proximity. Crazy speaks for itself. If you’re the chick who bashes windshields, sure I might talk to you but you’re not getting any closer than that. Accident happens when you end up somehow talking to a guy about his girl problems and you have no idea how it happened. And proximity is the one I’m thinking most women get caught in. This is where you end up spending a lot of time with a guy (think next door neighbors, college classmates, etc) and the conversations are always about things other than romance and the guy starts to view you as a confidante, not a potential mate.

So how does one escape those clutches? Well you can’t escape batsh*t crazy. But accident and proximity are closely related and escapable. Here’s a few things to try.

1) Flirt more

One common theme of friend-zoned chicks is that they play the position. Being there isn’t enough. That’s the problem, you’re always there listening and helping him solve his problems. Make the time count for something. Be touchy-feely like flirty women are and turn the convo to non-mundane things. Not saying you have to talk sex, but definitely not his little Black book and if any of the girls are worthy. Do girly flirty things…if you’re capable.

Sidenote: I realize all women are not good at flirting. If you suck at it, be VERY subtle if you want to try this. Batting your eyes can also look like you have a nervous twitch.

2) Say something

Tell him. Might be awkward but how else is he supposed to know you’re interested? You’ve been around this long and shown no interest. Other women toss wet panties at him and he tells you about it. Toss some at him. Okay, bad advice. But you get my point, you want a man, make your intentions known.

3) Stop being such a good friend

I know this sounds odd but hear me out. If you want to be looked at otherwise, stop being his best friend who picks up his girlfriend from the airport or washes his clothes for him. Let him know that those privileges come special.

Those three things are simple enough, but the fact is, you’re his friend, make your time count. Most of you all are friend-zoned because you are a source of comfort and support. You’re halfway to girlfriend already. Show him that you mean business or are interested in more and maybe, just maybe, you can move out of the zone into storybook, “wow, she was under my nose the whole time” territory.

If not, at least you’ll know he doesn’t like you that.

It was written.

Photo by Alex Holyoake on Unsplash