The Selfie Police : A Fine Line Between Being Awesome and Being Insecure


A good selfie tells the world that you are loving who you are. Right? The latest trend of taking “selfies”, a.k.a. self portraits, are seriously filling up our social networking feeds. Many women feel empowered by posting photographs of themselves online but there is a fine line between being awesome and being insecure.

The Need to Be Perfect

Are you really being true to yourself when it takes thirty tries to get the “perfect” selfie? Not really. Women receive a lot of pressure to be perfect from both the media and their social worlds. For years, Photoshop and other editing software has made it possible to present models and celebrities as perfect. It’s no wonder that the advertising industry has been so successful in making us insecure about our appearance, not to mention driving us to literally “buy” into the promise of perfection.

Today you can pick up your phone and instantly edit the way you look, the same way the media has been doing for years. Easily accessible editing software allows women to change their features, from color to shape and size. Believe me honey, your skin tone is not Valencia! Want to shave off a few pounds? You can literally do that with Photoshop! The need to be flawless has become so important to women that many of them are willing to modify their self-portraits and photographs to make themselves look like different people. The goal is always perfection.


How much editing is too much? For many, there is never a selfie perfect enough to not require editing. There is always something that can be fixed. It is the same idea behind the reason why so many women take multiple photographs at different angles. Click…analyze…repeat…edit…analyze…repeat. The need for just the right photo can morph into the need to be flawless in reality, which is not good—or realistic.

It is dangerous to over analyze any selfie because it can lead to us feeling that we are not “perfect” or good enough. By self-policing our photographs, we reinforce the idea that our purpose is to be judged and looked at. Ladies, we are so much more than that! We need to move away from wanting to fix ourselves both in real life and in selfie form. Say it with me now … “I love my selfie!”

Never Ending Insecurities

Why do women go to so much trouble to take and edit the perfect selfie? Well, this is mostly because they are looking for acceptance and reassurance that they are beautiful. If they are deemed beautiful, then they feel that they are valuable to society. Positive and negative comments from social networks strengthen and reinforce the need for best-ever selfie. Most women are not necessarily looking for attention when they post selfies, rather they are looking for acceptance from others so that they might in turn believe in themselves. It becomes a never-ending cycle of wanting and needing more. More photographs, more editing, more comments from others.

Being insecure is nothing to be ashamed about because we all deal with it. It is absolutely normal to want validation from others but it is not okay to base all of your self worth on it. Girl, you already got it going on! Take a step back from spending so much time and money on the way you look and you will become empowered by all the great things that you are already doing with your life.

Policing Our Best Moments

Selfies are a great way to share with the world how you are feeling, what you are doing and what is new and exciting in your life. Got a promotion? Take a selfie of yourself with your new title. Going on a great vacation? Take a pic of yourself with those palm trees. New hair cut? Show it off! The best selfies are the ones that are just you living in the moment and loving life.

Many women do not feel they are valuable enough and therefore will only share selfies that they think their social worlds will deem worthy enough. It is great to be proud of who you are and what you have done, but changing those experiences to appear more flawless only make those special moments become insincere. You do not have to look like a super model to be enjoying a significant moment.

Breaking the Habit

If you are posting selfies as a way to seek acceptance from others or to analyze your outer appearance … Stop! Remember that you are beautiful and wonderful regardless of what your followers think. On the same note, maybe it’s a good idea to stop sharing your selfies with everyone on your Facebook friends list. Hello? Do you really care about what Bobby from grade school thinks anymore? Aren’t some things better left unshared with your entire social network?

Take a step back and enjoy your selfies for yourself. They might even remind you of all the awesome things that make you, you! Want to share them? Show them to your closest friends and family and you will be able to connect with them on a personal level when you tell them about your achievements in person. Your success and happiness means nothing without a positive attitude.

What are your thoughts on selfies?