And in the End, the Love You Take is Equal to the Love you Make


“How do I know if this is a true love?” Someone asked me recently.

I was confused. Not that I didn’t know what to answer. In fact I answered instantly. I seem to have had the answer for this question since ages. Maybe I knew it all the time. And now was only waiting for someone to ask me.

“If it’s love it’s true,” I answered.

“How do you know it is love then?” I was asked. I really saw it coming. Nobody would just accept the answer I have given.

It got me thinking. I know what love is, I really do. I just don’t know how to express that with words. They don’t seem to be enough. They seem to be shallow and too small to define it. I am definitely not Shakespeare, and he was good, wasn’t he? Romeo and Juliet still makes me cry every time I read it or watch the play or the movie. But even having all the works of Shakespeare available, people still ask what love is. Though, maybe they haven’t read Shakespeare? Maybe next time someone asks me what love is I will send them to the library instead?

I can go on speaking about love…

I can tell you that love is finding peace, solace and comfort in someone’s arms.
I can tell you that love is a great feeling of belonging to someone’s world.
That it is an eternal spring in your soul.
That it is a permanent smile in your heart.

I can tell you that love is life.

Life with someone and for someone. When nothing else matters and yet everything does.

It is being happy. Not for yourself. But being happy for the other person.

For someone that special that when they look at you they touch your soul.
When they smile at you they speak to your heart.
When they kiss you, the world stands still.

Love is when you prefer to be together through hard times rather than having it easy separately.

It is fighting for what you think is right for the both of you. It is holding on and hanging in each time things go wrong. It is supporting each other in the smallest of actions. It is standing by when the whole world turns its back to you. It is being there even if they didn’t ask you. It is knowing that they would do the same.

Love is power. Power of feelings, emotions, faith, beliefs, understanding.

It is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to. And they will not. And no matter what happens between you, no matter how badly you fight or what mistakes you make, you will love that one person without regret for the rest of your life.

Love is missing someone so badly that it aches. It aches every day, every hour, every minute, and only when you are with them does the pain go away.

Love is finding someone so completely perfect for you. Someone who makes you happier than you ever dreamed to be. Someone who  touches your life so profoundly and gives you a whole new reason to breathe.

The reason to wake up in the mornings. The reason to live.

And this person will make you happy when you are sad, will understand your imperfections and see through them perfectly, will wait patiently just to hear your voice before they go to bed every night…This person will believe in you and your purpose,  and they will be there with you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why… they will be there for you… always and forever.

Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?

But love isn’t always perfect. It is not a fairytale. It is not a storybook. Not a movie for that matter. And more often than not “happily ever after” is just a myth. But a damn beautiful one.

Love doesn’t always come easy. It is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and not letting go. Even if at times it is really hard. Love is work, love is responsibility. Love is care. The care you give and the care you get. It is sharing. Feelings. Emotions. Thoughts. The Past and the Future. The Present.

Love is also understanding. Understanding that fairytales don’t  just happen. You work for your own fairytale. And you work hard. Every day. Every single hour. Each moment of your life. You adjust, you care, you compromise, you create your own fairytale. You do it together.

Love does not just happen. You find love, and you work hard to make it a beautiful bond of two loving hearts. And if you both work for it, you might be able to create your own fairytale. For a lifetime.

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make…”


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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.