Being Alpha and The Price of Tea in China


Face to face with a doll faced bombshell with long black hair on the street. You say, “Hi.” She stops, smiles and say, “Hello…?” back.

“OMG! What next?! Wait, I know! Quickly, now! Summon forth the powers of the ‘ALPHA MALE!’ That’ll impress her! Because we all know that to impress a girl, you have to be alpha, right?!”

Stop. Just. One. Second.

How exactly does being alpha help you in this situation? In this context, we’re using alpha to mean being the top dog, the head of the pack, the leader of men – the charismatic man’s man archetype. That’s great and all, but exactly how does that help you in this situation?

Simply No Need To Be “Alpha”

First of all, alpha implies a pecking order – and if there’s only one guy there, then there’s no pecking order. Therefore, alphas, betas, or whatever other Greek letters guys want to use, cannot exist in that system.

There’s only you, and the girl. And she’s either going to decide she likes you right there and then in the first 9 seconds she talks to you, or she’s not.

Alpha doesn’t even come into the picture. The whole discourse in the Pick Up Community, and even more mainstream dating advice for men about ‘being alpha’ has more to do with the price of tea in China than it does utilizing willpower and building the habits to get up, get out and talk to massive amounts of women every day. Because being “alpha” lacks any consistent actionable strategies for guys, it fails as a useful goal to strive towards. It’s an empty concept that gets empty results, especially when compared to straight up ACTION. We know from our research that you can break all the ‘alpha’ rules and still get really hot, high quality women who are completely into you. Most of the time, we see guys drop the ‘alpha’ posturing and start getting a whole lot better results with even hotter women. Funny how that works.

Seems like most guys use it when they don’t really know what’s going on in the situation or how to teach guys what they do in a repeatable, reproducible manner.

It’s a misleading loop.

Guy 1: “How did he get the girl?”

Guy 2: “‘Cause he was Alpha.”

Guy 1: “How was he being Alpha?”

Guy 2: “Cause he got the girl?”

Guy1: “…”

Being “Alpha” Doesn’t Impress Girls

Yes, the whole “be an alpha male” thing really is insanity.

So back to the situation – face to face with a hottie. Can you see now why “alpha” and the whole discourse about it does NOT come into play at all?

It simply doesn’t.

No connection.

Totally off in la-la land.

Especially when we know that when we talk to lots of women (and double especially when we talk to massive amounts of women every single day), some of them won’t like us no matter what we do. Doesn’t matter how alpha guys act.

When all the mental masturbation about being alpha is over, you still have to take some sort of action. Why not simply cut through all the untested “theory” about being alpha and go straight to the gold: The specific actions that will result in greater success and happiness for you with women.

As “alpha-ness” as a legitimate concept in men’s dating advice continues to gain more traction in the lexicon, we’d like to take a step back, stop and wonder… Did anyone tell these guys that when it comes to down to actually have successful, fun, exciting interactions with lots of extremely hot women, then simply presenting themselves as a Man to lots and lots of women will get the job done just fine, and in just a fraction of the time and effort?

For the record, in the situation described above, here’s the concrete, actionable strategy we recommend: Have a short, simple 2-10 minutes conversation (“How are you?” / “What did you do today?”), make her laugh when she asks you a question while returning the question to her, and make a direct, straight up offer (“Tell me your phone number.” / “I’m free for about an hour. Let’s get coffee.”). No need to try to impress girls, no need to pull out the whole “alpha” thing. Simply…