Recently, I was walking when I saw a skinny blonde with black-rimmed glasses who looked really good. I walked right up to her and said, “Hello. What’s your name?”
She smiled. After exchanging greetings and joking around for about a minute I decided to ask for her number…
It’s pretty easy to accept “No” as an answer. If any one woman isn’t into us, we thank her, wish her well, and continue on to the next attractive one we see. That’s pretty much what was happening here, until an unexpected twist.
John Robie: Tell me your phone number.
JR: So I can call you and ask you on a date.
Her: Wha-!!! Are you serious?
Her: Really??? Are you trying to trick me or something?
JR: (I check inside my suit like I’m looking for something insidious, but not finding it.) Nope, I don’t think so.
Her: Hahaha! You’re funny!
JR: Thanks. I try.
Her: So, what is this? Are you a salesman?
JR: (Raising an eyebrow at her)
Her: Why do you really want my phone number?
JR: (Smiling and extending my hand) It’s ok. I had a fun time.
Her: (Shaking my hand confusedly) Wait… Are you leaving?
JR: (Backing away to leave and talk to 16 more girls that day) Yes. I hope you have a nice day.
Her: W-w-w-wait! You don’t want my number?
JR: If you don’t want to give it to me, it’s okay. If you want to give it to me, that’s okay too. Which one is it?
Her: You want to call me for a date?
Her: Ok! You can have my number! It’s ok!
JR: Well… Ok… But… Are you sure?
JR: Really? You really want to give me your phone number?
Her: Yes, yes! Really, it’s ok!
Me: Hmm. Alright.
After I got her number, she thanked me and I told her I hope she has a nice day. As I walked away, I could only think of something that I learned a long time ago “When a girl likes you, she won’t let you disqualify her.”
This kind of thing happens when you’re willing to accept “No” as an answer, rather than push, plow, dance and beg just for a chance to “get in there.”
Halfway through this interaction, when I shook her hand to walk away, I felt that I had Identified her as a woman who was not interested enough in me to give me her phone number. And since I knew I would be talking to plenty more women in the next few minutes, I was okay with simply walking away. All of her weird games got tossed to the side at that point then, simply because she saw I was EXTREMELY willing to accept “No” as an answer… Enough so that she actually STOPPED me from leaving and practically demanded I take her number!
Walking away from her when she wasn’t making things fun and simple actually led to her giving me her number. Even the strategy of consciously making an effort (and in this case, succeeding) to make her laugh is really only another way to Identify whether or she’s into me – women who are interested smile and laugh at our jokes (even when they’re lame… ESPECIALLY when they’re lame!), while those who aren’t interested may not even bat an eyelash (even when we come up with the most gut-bustingly, witty zinger).
None of my actions came from a Chasing mindset – the kind of mindset that has guys Chasing her for her phone number, Chasing her to spend more time with her, Chasing her for the chance to maybe possibly get a date or anything else. Any form of “pushing” or “plowing” just causes resistance, and thus has no place in the dating life of men who want stress-free, fun-filled times with incredible women who are totally into them.
Stop Chasing. Learn to Identify women who are into you right from the beginning. Talk to lots of women every day. Simply walk away if she’s not making things smooth and fun. And as always, Be Amazing.