Don’t Be Yourself; Be Someone Better


“Just be yourself.” This is something people hear often – children from parents, adults from friends, readers from books and magazines.

Well, how’s that working out for you? Are you living the life you want to live? Are you in your dream job, are you in the perfect relationship?

If you answered “Yes” to all three questions, you can stop reading right here.

If you didn’t, here’s what I say: stop “being yourself.” It hasn’t done much for you so far and it probably never will.

Don’t be yourself; try being who you want to be instead.

What do I mean by “Don’t Be Yourself”?

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein

First thing’s first; I’m not advocating dishonesty. When I say, “don’t be yourself,” I’m not talking about pretending to be someone else. I’m talking about becoming someone else: the man you want to be.

All too often, “being yourself” is about staying in your comfort zone; doing the same things; avoiding change. But the fact is, change is the only way forward – and the further you are from your goals, the more you need it.

If I was still the “myself” from 4 years ago, I’d be out-of-shape, lonely and boring. Fortunately, I’m none of those things – but only because I made the conscious decision to stop “being myself.”

Do you want to change your life? Then start with yourself. Be who you want to be.

Where To Begin

Start by defining who you want to be; your end point.
Make your targets specific. A broad goal – like “I want to have an awesome life” – is very difficult to achieve. “I want to bench press 200 pounds and have a hot girlfriend,” on the other hand, is easily doable.

So write down some of your basic goals and decide how you’re going to get them.

My favorite way to change gradually is by committing to one new, positive habit every week. Examples

1)   10 push-ups every morning

2)   15 minutes of reading

3)   11:30 P.M. curfew on weekdays

4)   Smile at one stranger every day

5)   Talk to one new person every week

6)   Save 3 dollars every day

In a year’s time, you won’t be yourself anymore – with 52 new habits; you’ll be a much better person. And at 1 easy commitment a week, you won’t strain yourself or burn out.

 Replace “Be Yourself” with “Change Yourself”

There are always new things to try and more space for growth.

Michael Jordan tried baseball when he conquered the sport of basketball; incredibly rich and powerful men like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates kept striving for more, even when money becomes a non-issue.

So is there any reason for you to become complacent?

Sure, you should stay true to your values and desires; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

But when it comes to life, you’ll ultimately be happiest when you constantly challenge and change yourself.

Screw being yourself – be a better man instead.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.