If you really want to embrace your singlehood, stop dating–invest in yourself, take a meditation class, improve your self-awareness, but don’t spew out one-sided information about loving your single status yet working even harder to snatch a man; this mixed belief is called cognitive dissonance. Google it.
Here are the top 5
1. A Great Relationship means you never fight. FALSE. I hate to break it to you, but when you deal with another living, breathing human–there will be fights. And I’m not talking physical–if you’re in a relationship with a Chris Brown or Ike Turner, that’s not healthy or sexy, but I’m referring to disagreeing with one another. For us, it’s fighting over the cell phone, my cell phone. See, Big Daddy will sometimes call or text me and on those rare occasions, my phone is in my bag or pocket or in another room. So he feels ignored. When I finally see the missed call or text, I will return it promptly, but according to him, I’m readily available to all my friends. This has been a revolving fight since day 5. I’ve gotten used to it, he, on the other hand, still needs to be broken in.
2. A Great Relationship means you always agree. FALSE. I can’t stand listening to Jennifer Lopez, on-screen or on an iPod but when Big Daddy starts to clean the house, he pops on his iPod and who comes blasting through, Miss J-Lo herself. But it doesn’t stop there, he’s got Thalia, and several music that I call the Latin Gay collection. If you stop any Latin Gay on the street and frisk him for his musical contraption, you will find this exact playlist. But, I’m not gonna attack him or the dust bunnies floating around the apartment. Instead, I plug in my headphone and rock out to something else.
3. A Great Relationships means you sacrifice who you are for the other person. FALSE. I never had to sacrifice myself in any area–in fact, people crave more personal stories from me now that I’m in a relationship. But on a grander scale, even my work has grown because of my relationship with him, he now comes along for the ride but manages to pull his own weight. When I attend a blogger event or get asked to do a speaking engagement, he usually gets hired right along with me to be the main photographer. And in an even broader sense, me, the individual, has grown. Anyone who knows me understands that I’m Godzilla. There’s no stopping me when it comes to my goals, loud-mouth, or crazy ideas–and because I actually brought someone in my life who is okay with that–it inspires me to greater heights. And I reciprocate that attribute so I don’t feel less than, in fact, I feel more of. And that’s a wonderful thing to nourish in a relationship.
4. A Great Relationship means never going to bed angry. FALSE. We tried this for a week, then reality set in. Guess what people, some arguments start at 11pm and that means someone’s going to bed angry. There’s not a relationship fairy who waves her wand at the stroke of midnight and then cast happy relationship dust over the couple and anger automatically changes to blossoms or love and tidal waves of understanding. If it does, send her my way, because Bid Daddy and I have never seen her. I don’t advise it or recommend it, but in life, and when in a relationship–you sometimes do go to bed angry but it doesn’t mean your relationship is failing–it just means it’s real.
5. A Great relationship means you have nonstop SEX. Good Lord, FALSE. I see my man and I see such a handsome and charming guy–but them I want him off me. I have work, I have personal goals, I have friendships to nurture, and I have stressors like any other Gay, Adopted, Mexican–so that means sex is not on the daily agenda . Oh, it’s up there–on the schedule–who doesn’t enjoy a sexy romp in the hay, especially with out Calvin Klein bedding–but daily, no. Sometimes I send him away to watch porn and get out of my hair. That’s a reality. Are we sex deprived? Nope. Trust me, I know how to throw down in the bedroom so that my man keeps that smile on his face–but he also needs to learn to make himself smile–if you know what I mean, and I think you do. I love you Big Daddy!