How To Deal With A Narcissist

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Disarm & Manipulate a Narcissist

Do you want to know how to end this soul-eating manipulation from a narcissist? If you are going through a divorce right now and your ex has narcissistic tendencies, I am sure this separation process is not easy on you. You are probably feeling powerless over finding a humane and civil way to part your ways. Or if you have one in your family who you can’t just stop interacting with, you are about to learn ways of how to no longer allow narcissists get under your skin. I want to offer you powerful strategies on how to manipulate and disarm a narcissist.

Warning: Narcissist Fever

Before we move any further, I want to emphasise one fact. These proven strategies that you’re about to learn are not the strategies that will force you to get to their dirty level. It’s about finding a way to manipulate them back so you don’t waste your energy and health on them in the most self-respecting ways possible. It’s important to understand that it’s a waste of energy to try to win a narcissist in the game that he is so good at. Today, you will find an empowering path to deal with such undesired people and to negate their manipulation, so you’re no longer losing your self-worth and your self-esteem.

Here are the self-respecting and empowering strategies to disarm and manipulate a narcissist. It’s all about gaining your control back!

1. Never Forget Who is He!

I work with so many women who tend to forget that their ex-husbands are narcissists. As a result, they find themselves energetically and emotionally abused. Why? Because they try to have a normal and healthy conversation with a person who is not capable of having it. Remove your expectation of having a respectful and enlightening conversation with your ex-husband when he just can’t do it.

It’s impossible to disarm him when he is so exquisite at manipulation. Instead, take everything he says with a grain of salt. Next time, whenever you are about to have a communication with such people, continuously remind yourself of his position. It’s the expectation you have when interacting with him that keeps you his victim.  Such as… “maybe today he will be different because sometimes he gets me,” or “I had so many conversations with her so I think this time it will all be different.”

2. Don’t Defend Your Position against Him

It’s a waste of time and energy to try to force a him to see your truth. He will WIN. The only way you will be able to get him to side with your truth is when he uses it as his manipulative move. So, you still lose. My invitation would be to develop your intuition and to own your truth. Believing in yourself and owning your truth are good enough reasons for you to feel right.

You don’t need anybody’s validation. Be strategic, not revengeful. It’s your responsibility to take whatever steps you need to boost your self-esteem and awaken your self-love, so you’re no longer dependent on his validation and opinion. The only way he will get under your skin is if you allow him. Develop a plan to grow your inner strength.

3. Don’t Become a Part of Narcissist’s Dance

One of the powerful tactics which narcissists use is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which a person causes and crafty forces the victim to question their own reality,  feelings, actions, and sanity. Unless you want to hear his opening statement to the jury of why you are crazy, don’t enter his dance.

The psychological pattern or the dance that exists between you and him is fueled by both of you. It’s the dance that can only be performed if both of you are willing to dance it. If you no longer want to be a part of it, then you need to reclaim responsibility for your take in it. Once you have accomplished it, let’s move into developing an action plan to deal with him.

Best Strategy to Deal with a Narcissist

The best strategy to disarm him is to not allow his aggression-seduction dance to trigger you. Don’t answer his aggression with your aggression in return. Because this is exactly what he wants from you and feeds off from. Instead, create an illusion that he is winning. For example, if you’re going through a divorce right now and he wants all of that sublime Italian furniture, then choose a few pieces that you deeply want and give the rest to him.  Get yourself a new furniture set.  Be ready to lose a battle if it means to win the whole entire war.

4. Are you Willing to Play The Game?

The best and the only way to manipulate and disarm a narcissist is by understanding that you need to be strategic, not revengeful. Because when you approach him from revenge, he is winning. He is feeding of your negative energy. It’s his ambush. The greatest revenge to your narcissistic ex-husband would be your and our child healing.

Invest in an effective and ultimate self-love program. Alternatively, your best course of action would be to consult a therapist who will help you cut this umbilical cord that makes you a magnet to him and toxic relationships. If you don’t do this, the cost is too high! You will pass on your trauma and the trauma that you’ve inherited from your parents to your children. It is scientifically been proven that we pass our unhealed trauma to our children.

5. Everyone is Entitled To Their Own Reality

It is fatal to your self-esteem and sanity to try to win over or destroy his reality by trying to show him how mistaken his perception has been. Instead, allow him to indulge in it. If you know your truth, then why care about what he thinks, especially, you will no longer share a bed with this man ever again once your divorce is finalised. If you need more help with finding a way how to stop caring about what other people think, this video will help you. But remember, you have a choice: You can either choose your Sanity and Self-respect or You can choose to be Right. The choice is entirely yours.

In order to disarm him, let him bathe in this own reality. Tell him, “I can’t do anything but to be OK with your mistaken perception of me.” What you are doing here is allowing him to be instead of fighting the fight you will never win with this person.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for Loveawake.com dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.
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