I’m sure you have run into a girl that is straight up catty, mean and conniving. Even though us independent chicks try to steer clear of girls like this, they almost always find a way into our lives. While we may try everything in our existence not to let them bother us these girls somehow always find a way to taunt us.
Let’s face it, they want to be us! Whether or not you realize it, girls like this are using their devious tactics to mask their insecurities and jealousy they feel towards us. They want to have our lives and feel comfortable being independent like we do. To them, we are chicks that have it all together. We have the awesome career, the cute boyfriend and our own sense of self-worth. Yet, instead of trying to work on themselves they find ways to drag us down to their level.
Has this ever happened to you? If so, you’re initial instinct is probably to fight back and prove that you’re better. But, does this really accomplish anything?
It is time to start acting like the cool chick you are and show all those haters some love!
The Situation: Girl (a.k.a jealous hater) is flirting with your boyfriend.
What to Do: Wear Her Shoes
I have personally been in this situation and it is not fun. Said girl had a short past with my boyfriend and failed to understand why he chose me over her. Instead of allowing this girl to inch her way into my relationship I decided to play nice and psychoanalyze what was really going on to make her act so unkind.
It’s helpful to put yourself in the hater’s shoes. It may not be easy but it will help you to see behind her hateful actions. Perhaps she is super insecure and relies on male attention to feel good about herself. Maybe she has been through some tough times and doesn’t know how to take out her aggression in a healthy way. No matter what the underlying reason is for her unnecessary behavior; it’s important to remember that we all have things going on that may not be visible to everyone else. Try to understand that this girl is probably fighting a bigger war with herself than she is with you.
Doing all of this will ensure that you’re on a level playing field in your mind. Once you are able to feel less threatened, it is time to “kill” her with kindness. Instead of being short or mean and lowering yourself to her standards, it is crucial to keep your class intact and be yourself.
Kindly show her why your man chose you (because you’re smart, witty and awesome — duh!). Don’t take any of her crap but stand up for yourself in a loving way. Chances are that behaving like this will make her seethe even more but that is simply not your problem. You are just acting in a way that works better for you!
The Situation: Rumor Mill
What To Do: Keep Smiling
Once again, this is a situation I have dealt with recently. Let’s just say that I have made choices in my work life that others may have found peculiar. But, quite frankly, they are MY choices and I am the happiest I have ever been because of them.
No matter what you do there are going to be girls at your workplace that talk smack, however, it’s your job to keep moving forward and not let this petty drama consume your life. Besides, as with most bullies, they’re a lot more miserable than you are. Perhaps their lives outside work are just that boring where they care enough to talk about you. Maybe they feel the need to gain approval of others by gossiping. Chances are they’re threatened by your insane productivity and badassness.
The reasoning really doesn’t matter, but it does help to focus on the cause of the action because then you won’t take it as personally. Once you’re able to take their crap for what it’s worth (nothing) you will be able to move forward quicker. You won’t allow their insecurities to punish you or keep you stuck.
One thing to always remember, especially in the workplace, is to be as cordial as possible. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like someone, or if that person is talking about you. If you choose to be rude to, or ignore a co-worker it will reflect poorly on you in a professional capacity and they’re not worth it. Just keep on doing your thing and don’t let those poor souls steal your positive vibes!
The Situation: Emotional Vampires
What To Do:
We’ve all have, or have had, that one friend. You know, the one that always tries to steer you in the wrong direction to make herself look better. She’s the one that tells you to buy the tight dress that hugs your curves all wrong. Or, the one that says your new crush isn’t really that hot only to try to flirt with him a week later.
I am not quite sure how we end up in these types of friendships because we are much smarter than this. But, if you find yourself with a friend like this the best thing to do is to slowly distance them from your life.
While this may sound like a harsh solution; there are ways to accomplish this in a kind manner. First of all, it’s important to evaluate why this person is in your life. Do they provide any advantage to you? Are they someone you could rely on if need be? Do they give as much to the friendship as you do? If your answer is no to any of these questions then it may be time to move on.
Once you’ve determined that you’re ready to let go it’s time to start the distancing process. Your first instinct may be to ignore this person because you’ve all the sudden realized they are not the friend you once thought. I urge you not to do this. Instead, kindly reject their efforts to try and spend time with you. Focus on pursuing the interests that matter most to you. Keep everything as amicable as possible.
No matter what type of mean girl you may be facing remember that only you can choose how to react. Absolutely nobody is responsible for how you feel except for yourself. Don’t let a small person take away who you are.