What’s the biggest regret of your life?
According to Kevin Hansen, founder of Secret Regrets, we all have a lot to get off our chests: More than 10,000 people have anonymously posted their answers to that question on his site.
He’s compiled them all into “Secret Regrets: What If You Had a Second Chance?” which is an Amazon bestseller on the Kindle.
Below, check out the Top 20 Regrets of 20-Something Women — from ones who wish they’d married the one who got away (or not married the guy they actually did), to two regrets that led to a true love’s untimely death. We guarantee you won’t be able to click away.
20 Secret Regrets of 20-Something Women
- I regret that I didn’t meet you before you met her. I know that the experiences you had with her make you the man you are now, but it’s because of those experiences that you can’t love me as fully as you loved her. As your wife, I love you completely and I know that you love me very much. But I also know that she hardened your heart, and although I’ll try my hardest for the rest of our lives, I don’t think that part of your heart will ever come back. — Female, 23
- I regret not leaving with you when you came to my wedding to stop it. — Female, 27
- I regret choosing him because he looked good on paper, when I was so, so in love with you. You and I were best friends who happened to fall in love. When you would touch me, it sent chills down my spine. I never felt that with him. It’s been three years, and you still are not going out with anyone, but I married the guy that looked good on paper — the guy who cheated on me, lied to me and is now divorcing me. I regret that right now, I could be in your arms and in your love, but am not because I chose a different path. I regret that I could not stop loving you, and that you still haunt me every day. If only you would still love me after what I did … if only you could forgive me … — Female, 24
4.I regret friending you on Facebook. Now I see your life without me every time you post a status update. Technology means never having to say goodbye forever. — Female, 20
5. I regret that you were the perfect man, my lover and my soul mate. Maybe if you weren’t so perfect, this tragedy would affect me less. I regret that I am to blame, because if you never drove those 10 miles to come and apologize for something you didn’t do, you never would have died that night. I regret that I killed so much potential this world could have used. I love and miss you, baby. I’m sorry. — Female, 20
6. I regret still thinking about you five years later. I regret seeing you at the mall when I was nine months pregnant and feeling like I had failed you somehow. Most of all I regret dreaming about you at night. It only makes me feel like I am cheating on my husband and son. JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD. — Female, 22
7. If I had a second chance to do one thing in my life differently, I would not have taunted my sister for being fat when we were children. Now I’m the fat one and she’s the skinny one. Deep down, I think this is God’s way of punishing me.
— Female, 268. I regret saying yes when you asked me to marry you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. After all, you’re a poor college student who spent $2,000 on a ring. You say you can’t imagine your life without me, well … I can imagine mine without you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. — Female, 22
9. I regret telling you I wasn’t pregnant when I really was. His name was Drake. He is my angel. — Female, 23
10. If I could change one thing, I would have gotten on that plane. I would have gone away with you even if it meant losing my job. I would have gone away with the clothes I had on my back because all that would have truly mattered was the fact that I was with you. The loss of a job doesn’t compare to the pain I feel right now, each day, knowing that I’ve lost you. — Female, 26
11. If I had a second chance to do ONE thing differently in my life, I would have chosen to be with you when you asked me to. I couldn’t do it because I was too afraid of what my friends would think. And now, years later, none of them are even in my life anymore, but I still talk to and see you every day. Now that it’s way too late to do anything about it, I am desperately jealous of your girlfriend and I can’t get over what I almost, but never, had. — Female, 22
12. If I had a second chance to do one thing differently in my life, I would have been honest with my ex when he asked if I’d met someone else. Because I had, and I wanted you the minute I laid eyes on you, so there was no point in denying it really. As it was, he believed we still had a chance and now he won’t speak to me … And the worst part is … if I had to choose one of you to have in my life … it would still be him. — Female, 22
- I regret marrying you. I was blinded by the romance and the unexpectedness of our relationship. And then we found out we were pregnant, I felt overwhelmed with love, but fear of what others would say about me being an unwed mother. And you were deploying to Afghanistan. So we rushed. You left. I grew up, you grew mean. Every phone call, you yelled at me, you put me down. When you got back to the States, the boys and I were at the bottom of your priority list. It’s been almost two months and you still haven’t seen us. I’m glad I can see things so clearly now and I don’t have to waste the rest of my life and the boys’ lives with tension, and yelling, and fighting. I’ve found someone else. He has been there for me through everything. He kept me company when all I wanted to do was fall asleep in your arms. He comforted me when you would make me cry after EVERY DAMNED PHONE CALL. He drove me to the hospital when I went into early labor with the boys, and slept on the cold hard hospital floor all night and held my shaking hands the next day until my mother could get there. He visited us often at the hospital, and drove us when we could finally come home two months later. He loves me. He loves the boys. And slowly and surely, he has gained my trust, friendship, and love. I choose him. Your stuff is waiting for you in boxes in the kitchen. Call when you want to come get them. — Female, 2014.I would treat her better than I did back then. I’m still completely in love with her and know now that I could treat her like a princess. Because that’s what she is to me. And no one will treat you better than I can, Kait. That’s a promise. — Female, 2215. If I had a second chance, I would go back and tell you exactly how I felt when I felt it. It’s too easy for you to brush everything aside now. I wish it were easier to let you know how much you changed me. For the worse. — Female, 20
16. If I had a second chance, I’d risk more. I’ve lived a safe, comfortable life. I have a safe, comfortable home in a safe, comfortable town. If I had a second chance, I’d go on that trip, take the job far away, run faster and try harder. — Female, 29
17. I regret saying I didn’t like the ring and I didn’t like the way you proposed. It was shallow and stupid of me. I know you did the best you could for me and I was still ungrateful and I’ve always felt horrible for it. Because now, I wish for nothing more than you to put a ring on my finger and call me your fiancee again. — Female, age unknown
18. I regret losing my virginity in a car in an empty parking lot. Happy birthday, Will. — Female, 22
19. I regret that I’ve never experienced true rip-off-your-clothes, impatient, hot passion in a relationship. I regret that reading “Twilight” is the closest I’ll ever get to it, because of how you damaged me emotionally. –Female, 24
20.I regret running from the church the day we were to be married. I regret that you thought I didn’t love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you. It wasn’t that. I was just afraid that our love wouldn’t last and that I’d end up like my mother; divorced and alone, dealing with depression. I regret that this rejection led to your suicide. I will always love you. I know that now. — Female, 29
Wow. I’m mostly surprised at how young these women are. I feel like at 23, you really shouldn’t have accumulated such serious regrets.
My only regret is not having fun in college. I don’t know if I could have if I tried, but I was way too introverted. And I should have gone out with that guy from my databases class. Sure he was dumb and it probably would have ended badly, but he really was hot. I think I hurt his feelings 🙁
In general, I’ve made good choices. I think anyway, I’m still young. They could turn out to be terrible choices. You never really know.
People have regrets, they think they’ve made bad choices, but you don’t know how life would have turned out if you made the other choice. Could have been worse.
Wow. I’m mostly surprised at how young these women are. I feel like at 23, you really shouldn’t have accumulated such serious regrets.
My only regret is not having fun in college. I don’t know if I could have if I tried, but I was way too introverted. And I should have gone out with that guy from my databases class. Sure he was dumb and it probably would have ended badly, but he really was hot. I think I hurt his feelings 🙁
In general, I’ve made good choices. I think anyway, I’m still young. They could turn out to be terrible choices. You never really know.
People have regrets, they think they’ve made bad choices, but you don’t know how life would have turned out if you made the other choice. Could have been worse.
These young women have their whole life ahead of them. Learn and move on. I would be interested in a book like this regarding people in their 50’s and 60’s. Some with wisdom and real life experience. Where you didn’t have the time to turn your life around, those would be profound.
I READ ANOTHER BOOK LIKE THIS CALLED POST SECRETS. IT WAS GREAT, AND AN EYE OPENER. THIS GUY IS JUST COPYING OFF OF FRANK WARRENS BOOK AND SHOULD TRY TO COME UP WITH HIS OWN IDEAS BUT I WILL READ IT.
I loved your post..
I felt icky with my decision but your right if i didnt make that choice
life would be different…
&& good job with not having so many regrets..
I’m glad someone else said that! Wow at 20 you lost your soul mate, only love of your life, etc? That’s really sad that such young women (girls) can be that convinced that their life is over. Their life hasn’t even begun! The ones I feel for was the one who had someone die as a result of coming to apologize to her for something. And the 29 year old who ran from the church and who also resulted in a suicide. First off an accident is just that, an ACCIDENT, you cannot spend the rest of your life blaming yourself. HE chose to come 10 miles to you – someone else chose to have an accident. As for the suicide after being left at the alter – goodness – that is really tough but it isn’t the gals fault that the guy was so unstable that he did that to himself. Forgive yourselves and move on as best you can!!!!
[…] we posted “The Secret Regrets of 20-something Women” from Kevin Hansen’s bestselling book, “Secret Regrets: What if you had a Second […]