You may have met her at the down the shore over the summer or at a business lunch in Manhattan: the Jersey Girl, a fine breed of babe worthy of your attention.
True, Jersey girls can be tough and a little intimidating, but it’s mostly because we’ve had to defend our state to out-of-towners our entire lives.
Despite the movies you’ve seen, most of the stereotypes about Jersey girls are untrue. We don’t all wear white eye shadow, constantly chew gum or say “Joisey.” So when you approach one, avoid saying any of the following:
10. “Is your family in waste management?” I’m not Meadow Soprano. That show was fictional … like my interest in continuing this conversation for another nanosecond.
9. “I bet you’ve dated a lot of guidos.” I have news for you: Most of the dudes in Jersey who resemble the Gotti boys and the guy in the “My New Haircut” video are actually tourists from Staten Island. Fail.
8. “Can I see your tan lines?” It’s December. My skin is currently lily white. And even if it wasn’t, the answer would be no.
7. “Springsteen/Bon Jovi sucks.” Not as much as you do.
6. “Do you carry hairspray in your purse?” Look, the only time most Jersey girls teased their hair was 20 years ago when every other woman in America did.
5. “Did you just come from the mall/shore/diner?” Yup, because that’s ALL there is to do in Jersey ever, and I have no interests beyond shopping, tanning and eating greasy food.
4. “Which exit are you from?” Which hole in the ground are you from?
3. “Say ‘cawfee’ or ‘chawclate.'” How bout “awful,” like this conversation.
2. “Wanna go under the boardwalk?” I prefer sheets to sand in my ass, thanks.
1. “I’ll show you my Jersey Devil.” Do that, and I’ll show you my pepper spray
