I don’t know how or why it happened, but somwhere along the way, people decided that they hated receiving mass text messages during the holidays. I find it funny considering that some of the very people who hate them don’t actually communicate by voice with anybody during the other eleven months of the year. Yet somehow, receiving an obvious mass text of, “Merry Christmas. May you all have a blessed year” sends them to the mattresses. Go figure.
The more irritated people are by mass texts by SMS, Whatsapp, Viber, Skype and etc, the more tickled I get. Hell, at least they’re acknowledging your existence. It isn’t like a random tweet to the 40 people they do know and 600 people they don’t know. Texting is more personal as it requires at least a phone number.
Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about this, namely, how to send a text message to 100 people and still make it seem personal without using any names. That’s the win-win.
So here are some choices that you can send out where it’s at the very least questionable if it’s a mass text or not.
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You really are a blessing in my life. Happy (Thanksgiving/Christmas).
The use of the “you” makes it debateable. It’s very plausible that you sent it to just 100 people but its also plausible that you sent it to one. Of course they’d either have to ask you or ask somebody else who might have been the recipient in which case they went a long way to find out. Don’t trust them. They’ll steal your children.
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Merry Christmas, homey!
Now see, that sounds like it’s going to one person, homey. Thing is, homey is just one of those terms that many people use as a term of endearment with…everybody. You can send this out to everybody and nobody would think about the fact that you sent it to lots of people even though one iota of thought would indicate that it went to half of AT&T’s network.
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Happy Holidays, can’t wait to see you!
Anybody reading this would AUTOMATICALLY assume its personal. I mean who says that can’t wait to see hundreds of peopel at once. Me, that’s who. I’ll send that out and wait for the responses like, “me too! When you coming to Okinawa?” or “awwwww, that’s so nice, I miss you too.” Terrible. But effective.
Similarly…
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Happy Holidays. I miss you!
Exact same effect. Exact same outcome. And keeps you out of the “I HATE MASS TEXT MESSAGES DURING THE HOLIDAYS” doghouse.
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This is a mass text. Sike! Merry Christmas.
The old bait-and-switch. Make them think you know that they hate them by joking you sent one. They’ll think its a joke and you will be able to breathe another year of relief.
Follow these simple rules and you can mass text the hell out of your friends and family. Enjoy and may the force be with you.
