With the introduction of Social Networks, like Facebook and Twitter, came a new public portal for you to bitch and moan about all your drama. Risky? Perhaps. Does it make you seem like a bit of an attention whore? Absolutely. But how much do we really need to know? What does blasting your love life all over social media really do?
It all began with MySpace. (Some of you might remember other sites like Friendster and Face the Jury, but this isn’t a social network recap class). Myspace was home to a whole bunch of hormone ridden teens, WrItInG LiKe ThIs, calling all attention possible to themselves. Then, Myspace experienced a quick decline and Facebook opened it’s doors to everyone in the cyber world. Eventually, you began receiving friend requests from coworkers, bosses, aunts and uncles, parents and long lost lovers.
One status update resulting in high comment rate brings you close to orgasm-like ecstasy. It’s a chance to be popular without having to do the hard work. But as soon as the hype passes, you’ve got to quickly think of something else to keep your “friends” interested.. And so begins the dirty cycle of riskier and riskier information sharing.
I bet you’re wondering why I’m writing about this – I’ve got a point, I swear. This risky information sharing gives you a sense of comfort. You begin sharing things that you wouldn’t specifically choose as the ideal topic of conversation over dinner at your parents’ house. Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more people dissing they’re partner/potential shag/date/ whatever on Twitter and Facebook. As someone who’s obsessed with observing things through a psychological lens, this is pretty fucking interesting.
Now, if you’ve got your standard “lovey dovey” crap splattered everywhere.. most people don’t tend to mind. Either they ignore it or respond with a sweet “congratulations!” Keep in mind, however, you’ll always have the bitter just-recently-heartbroken crowd wishing death upon you.. But that’s not a big deal. These sad people are usually hidden in dark corners, crying.. and yelling in whispers; you never really see or hear them.
The shit hits the fan when you start posting about your drama everywhere… and people looove the drama..
Why do you need to tell your 678 “friends” that your boyfriend can’t change no matter how hard he tries? Why do your Twitter followers need to know that you’re out, getting plastered, making a fool of yourself because your boyfriend canceled dinner plans to hang out with his friends? Do I need to know that you’re having sex problems or that he’s got mommy issues? Do you think putting it on the internet will be a more effective way of communicating your anger and frustration? Do you NEED him to see that others think what he’s doing is shady? Is this a cry for help or are you just trying to embarrass him? YOU’RE CONFUSING ME!
In fear that I may never stop bitching, I’m going to make this article pretty raw and more of a straight to the point kind of thing.
5 THINGS WE WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR UPDATES:
- If you need advice there are other ways to ask for it. Select a couple of friends and ask for their advice, privately. Pay a love coach. Find people who dish out the goods for free, like myself. Your relationship is not a magazine poll to be held on a weekly basis.
- If you tell the world your dude’s a scumbag, how do you expect us to react when you post, “Honeybuns brought me flowers!!” We vomit and shake our heads in disapproval, that’s how.
- We love you and remember you exist without you constantly updating us on the status of your relationship. Limit your public cries to the BIG events like, “Well, walking in on my boyfriend and math tutor screwing is the way I like to start my week.” or the more common: “He proposed!”
- We aren’t dating him. We don’t need to know that he’s always late or has a problem telling the truth. This is something YOU need to come to terms with; telling the world won’t make it any less real.
- Despite all the negative things you post about your significant other, you’re the one that comes off being a douche.
We’re not teenagers anymore -and if there are any teen readers, let this be a rude awakening- it’s time to grow up. Stop being a coward and learn to deal with your relationship issues with the one person that REALLY needs to hear them: your partner. I understand how wonderful public support may feel in times of need but it’s only creating problems for you down the line. Imagine how you would feel if your partner blasted your every douche-like move to the rest of the world. It’s embarrassing and definitely not the best incentive to change. There are certain topics that are better left OFF the cyberworld and your relationship hurdles is one of them.