When your phone goes off after 11 PM, it’s easy to get that little rush. Heart beating, you flip it open and there it is: that “Oh baby I want you so much” text that can make your self-confidence skyrocket. “Yes!” you think. “A drunk guy wants me! I’m awesome!!” As long as it takes you to fluff up your hair and hail a cab … you’re there. There are a lot of things to love about the late-night booty text (LNBT).
There are also a lot of things to hate about it. If you really like a guy and he seems to like you mainly after dark, it’s easy to get annoyed. “A drunk guy wants me,” you think. “BFD.”
If he only texts you for booty, it might be time to stop planning the wedding. It hurts to admit that, but it’s better you do it before things get more involved. However, if you are dating or in a relationship, you can demand to be treated like the lady instead of the tramp.
Here are some tricks for redirecting his texting:
First, try not responding right away. You might be sitting at home thinking about how badly you want to do him, but it’s important to give the impression that you can resist. Late night booty call? Me? Well, I never…
Respond the next morning, and keep it light. You aren’t rejecting him; you’re rejecting the LNBT. “Hey! Would still love to hang out … what are you up to today?” With this, you’re sending a strong message: I want you, but sober, with advance notice.
It might take a few rejections for him to get the hint, but soon enough he should realize that his late-night texts are futile. He’s a smart boy; he’ll make the connection between getting some and legit plans. Within a few weeks, he should start planning accordingly and try to hang out earlier.
If he’s ballsy, he may call you out on why you didn’t respond to him or what you were doing. If you were out, just say, “Oh, my girl friends and I have a rule not to check our phones when we’re out together!” Make him feel like texting non-stop when at the bar is boring and lame. If you were being boring and lame and weren’t actually out, just say, “Hey, a girl’s gotta sleep!” The important thing is to set a standard that you aren’t attached to your phone at all times, waiting for him to give you attention.
If that doesn’t work, you may need to respond directly to the LNBT as soon as you get it. Again, keep it light. “Hey you. Can’t tonight, but would love to see you! What are you up to tomorrow?” Again, get him to make plans.
Don’t get caught up in giving him a “good excuse.” You don’t need to give an excuse. He’s welcome to ask, and if he does, just keep it broad and reference the time. “It’s getting late.” “Ah, wish you would have said something earlier.” “Past my bedtime.” He needs to realize that you’re a busy girl and you need to know more than 15 minutes in advance if you’re going to get down and dirty.
Sometimes you might find yourself just downright annoyed. You’re mid-dream, cozy in your jammies, and the oh-so-familiar text comes. If you’ve got a bitchy side, let her out. “Wow, is it last call already? I love how your booty call texts are so dependable!” Calling him out — and calling a LNBT for what it is — might shame him into chilling out. Once you send that message, he’ll probably respond with an “lol” to get a feel for your attitude. Stay strong; you’ve got to let him know you’re serious. “As much as I’d love to see you, I don’t get naked after 1 AM.” “Hey, when the makeup comes off the clothes stay on. Talk tomorrow.” “Sorry, can’t tonight.”
Don’t worry that this will make him think you’re not interested! If he’s any kind of guy worth dating, he will give up on the LNBT but not on you.