Regardless of the new gender roles we find in Western society, the older ones linger more than we often realize. And women still like a leader. In fact, the stronger women we find in the world today are in even more need of a leader because it takes someone stronger to get them to follow. This doesn’t’ mean start bossing women around and expecting them to be submissive and walk behind you, but it’s about knowing how to lead an interaction and not act like someone who needs you to hold your hand all day and tell you you’re special.
Here are 5 tips for being a leader and avoiding the I’m-a-complete-wuss-that-needs-you vibe.
Always Have a Plan
When you start dating a girl or she’s agreed to go out, don’t just ask here where she wants to go our what she likes—have a plan. All that back and forth about what you should do is weak and deflates her image of you.
Think about it this way—even if guy who you were just acquaintances with called you up and said he wanted to hang out but didn’t know what he wanted to do, would you want to hang with him? Ignore the fact that you’d probably questions his sexuality—the point is that it’s not very interesting and makes you feel a little unimpressed with their personality.
Now imagine how that must feel like for a woman who wants a strong man with a strong nature.
Have an Opinion
This goes even further than whether you should grab a movie, go to the park, or go to the club—or hey, do you like zoos—it also applies to your thoughts on life and the world. Don’t be that guy who is always agreeing with every single thing a woman says just because you don’t want her to stop talking to you.
Disagree and have your own opinions. You can even give her a hard time about hers—in a joking manner, of course. You don’t want to go extreme and start arguing with her or start a fistfight, but make the interaction playful.
Your Biggest Interest Should be Your Own Life
A sure sign of a guy with no life and no confidence is one who is constantly calling a woman and has nothing else to do or worry about. As if all you’ve been doing is waiting around for her to come save you from you own life. Not cool.
Your biggest interest should be your own life, not hers. Settle down a little bit and get back to living. Make sure that you’re not letting your girl completely overwhelm your own interests and hobbies. If it works out with the girl, it will work out, and by absorbing your life with hers you are showing her you don’t have what it takes to lead.
Be Worth Following
It’s a lot easier to assume a leading role in an interaction or relationship if you have an interesting life and an admirable personality. Be someone she can respect, and she’s more likely to like and follow you. Have interests. Have a personality. Have a social life. Be dynamic and challenge her. Be unlike anyone she’s ever met before without even seeming to try.
Teach Her Something
One of the easiest ways to assume that leader status is by teaching her something she doesn’t know or guiding her. It’s not even unheard of for women to play that clueless girl role when they like you just to fall into this paradigm.
If there’s something you can help her with or guide her on, don’t be afraid to share your input. Here’s a hint, though—being an authority is not the same as being authoritative, so don’t overdo it.
Remember, being a leader doesn’t mean being bossy or rude, it is about guiding an interaion or situation. As long as you’re able to guide them, be decisive, and keep everyone’s enjoyment in mind leading will come naturally.