Breaking Up Is Hard To Do


Have you ever been around someone who has decided to break off a relationship? This could be a relationship with another person; with a habit they have, with a church or faith that they belonged to or with some other entity in their life.

Often when people “break-up” they go through a process of justifying why they broke-up. Many times, we will verbalize to anyone who is willing to listen why we made the decision to make the break, that is, all the reasons that support the decision to remove our self from the relationship. This behavior is normal and to be expected for a period of time after the break-up. In many ways it is a grieving process for what we have chosen to change in our life.

When someone is still going through this process as much time has passed, then we must ask what is going on. Why does every conversation with this person end up in explanations of why that person or thing is no longer part of their life? Most of us have been exposed to a person who a year after a relationship breakup they still find a way to draw a line of comparison back to the relationship they once had.

People who continue to justify their decision after a sufficient amount of time has transpired are simply still holding on to that which they have chosen to lose. They simply have not “let go” of their past relationship. They may have not yet let go because they still are not confident that they made the right decision. Their continuous verbal justification is more of an effort to convince their self that they made the right choice.

Again this choice could have been to end a romantic relationship or to change their core religious beliefs, or to change their basic path in life.

Uncertainty of a decision which is life altering is usually because the decision was made in haste, probably during a moment of passionate emotions or made because they hit a bottom and felt there was no other way to go. Deep down, they feel some regret for this change they made, yet their ego will not allow them to alter from this decision they made.

For many of us, once we make a life changing decision to discontinue a relationship, weather that relationship be with a person, an organization or some other thing, even if we come to a point where we realize we didn’t make the best decision for our self, the pride of the ego will fight us from retracting our decision.

When we find our self in this situation where we have not let go of a relationship that we chose to leave then we have two choices. One, if we truly believe with our spirit that we made the right decision then we must let go of that relationship and not expend anymore of our energy towards it; two, if in spirit we feel that we made the wrong decision then we must choose to put our ego aside and make an attempt to re-enter the relationship with humility and love.

There are times in our life where we will end relationships. We will end relationships with people, we will end relationships with organizations, we will end relationships on many levels and that is okay. When we do decide to end a relationship we must do it with love and not with ego. We must learn to end our relationships without anger or resentment in our heart. We must end our relationships with love and peace and be able to let go and set the relationship and ourselves free and be able to smile a knowing smile that we made our choice with a soul full of love and peace.

We do this with love regardless of how the other entity in the relationship reacts. We always act purposely with love.