1. Ignorant people cannot be helped and they do not matter.
First let us clarify who “The Ignorant” are for they deserve their own special classification and proper noun status for all the power women seem to give them. I am not talking about people who are mentally disabled or have a lower IQ than you. The Ignorant are those with the ability to learn, rationalize and grow intellectually but choose not to. We have all met people like this in life. Sometimes we are even related to them. There are those who continually over react to the most stupid and/or simple situations because they do not understand or refuse to try to understand the reasoning behind certain behavior or phenomena. Men naturally know to ignore the naysayers and push ahead. It has been my observation that woman will not, or cannot, simply ignore the ignorant people and continue on with their own will. Perhaps women allow The Ignorant to dictate their behavior because they want to please everyone. Maybe a woman needs total confirmation and validation that they are doing the right thing. Perhaps they figure the social cost of going against the grain is too high. But ladies, you cannot let The Ignorant dictate your actions and choices. I think you will find it refreshing to be able to do what you want without fear of what people will say.
“Ignorance (is) the root and stem of every evil.” Aristotle
2. It only matters if you think it does
This also has to do with validation. Women are natural team players. You look for a consensus in choices. Men on the other hand are not very good team players but we do make good leaders because we like to take charge, love challenges and have the ability to believe very strongly in our decisions regardless if others agree or not. My point here is that since men tend to have a very singular outlook we only pay attention to what matters to us. We are naturally designed to ignore or relegate to obscurity anything that stands in the way of our goals, decisions, aspirations, etc…. Basically, we are not afraid of being the very assholes you accuse us of being. Women on the other hand are pleasers. It is one of the things we love about you and that drive us crazy at the same time. Sometimes you cannot please everyone. Sometimes it is not even a good option. If women could learn to take ownership and to get complete personal buy-in of their own opinions and decisions, I think you would find that more people will respect not only you but your judgment.
3. Choose your battles.
This can be as easy as saying “Yes Dear” when the wife asks you to take out the trash or giving into a colleagues request at work when you do not agree with that request. Every man knows to let go of the inconsequential. It does not make sense to talk or fight over every little item you disagree with or do not like. This helps to keep the peace and let’s be honest, from a strategic standpoint, when you perform a favor, task, or simply acquiesce to the person you are allowing them to have their way. Then they believe they owe you one, even if it’s subconsciously. This leads to the whole reason we choose our battles. When it comes to something that is important to us, we have a much greater chance of success because we have given ground before. We have essentially built up a stockpile of favor. A woman will often compromise, which seems the same as choosing your battle but it is not. When you compromise or when you force an hour of discussion about every decision you do not gain any favor points because you are not giving anything away. Instead you are forcing a battle of wills through said discussion or compromise. So ladies learn to simply say, “ok, sure, no problem honey, we can do that, absolutely, I’d be glad to get you a beer, how can I help, I’d love to,” or any number of other surrender phrases so when it comes to the really big items in your life you care about you will find it is easier to get your own way.
4. Use logic, and yes I know it’s a struggle for you ladies.
Ok please note this does not apply to couples. It could but honestly there are normally too many emotions between a couple that interfere with being able to be Spock-like in your logic. It is a stereotype that men are logical and women are emotional, but stereotypes have some basis in truth. Ladies, logic is a great way to surprise your opponent and force the focus onto them to disprove your point instead of arguing with you about what the point is. If I state a fact that supports my argument and challenge you to explain how that fact can be true and your argument valid at the same time I have effectively taken you from arguing your point to defending it. Emotions are intangible and can easily be disputed but logic has a weighted and measurable quality. You can even take it a step further and use sales techniques with your logic to make your opponent think you are right whether they want to or not. Try using this trick; preface or end your logic statement with something similar to “as you know” or “but you already knew that”, what this does is confer onto the person that you respect them for already having the knowledge you just told them. In most cases they did not, but because no one wants to seem stupid they will take the compliment that they are smarter than they actually are and they will not argue the logic. This method will be arguing that they did not know this fact and making your compliment of intelligence invalid, it quite literally puts them into a catch 22. Learn to use a little more logic in your discussions and negotiations and you will find that you will do much better in getting your way.
5. You control the game. No one else does, only you do
This is about confidence, confidence, and confidence. If you realize at the end of the day you have complete control over yourself and your choices, it makes it much easier to stand up, say no, choose your path, and do whatever you want. This is a state of mind as well as a philosophy. Women are pleasers, caregivers, team players who believe in shared sacrifice and we love you woman for that. We love you being pleasers because it complements our style of wanting to be leaders. (This is not always the case in relationships or in the work world, but this is just an example.) However, your style of making everyone else happy does not always protect you. Often because a woman is more caring and compassionate about others she will let others dictate how she feels about herself. You cannot allow this from anyone other than your most close inner circle. Don’t allow fair weather friends, co-workers, extended family, or everyday acquaintances control your game through controlling your emotions. Realize they do not matter on the grand scale of things and that you control your life, the game, and no one else does. Looking at your life as the only person in control is amazingly empowering and frees you from so much of the petty worries and bullshit.
