Has your partner done something to make you mistrust them?
Even if the infraction was only a one-time occurrence, the repercussions of broken trust to your mental landscape can continue for some time.
It’s difficult to escape the plague of suspicious thoughts that can occur as a result. Trying to stop obsessive thoughts may make them entrench even deeper.
In this blog, we’ll take a look at the nature of suspicious thoughts. Then, I’ll give you 2 tips for better managing them so you can release yourself from their obsessive nature. Read on…
Obsessive Suspicious Thoughts
When your trust has been broken by a partner’s betrayal, it can turn you into a private detective… picking over the details of your own relationship.
Mistrust and suspicion are two sides of the same coin, and having a constant parade of suspicious thoughts about your partner’s every action and intention can be debilitating.
Suspicions can be justified, especially when your partner behaves in sneaky ways, or hedges on telling you where they are going or where they’ve been.
Without transparency in place, you really don’t know what your partner is up to… and that just fuels the flames of suspicion all the more.
Whether your partner works to be more transparent in their actions or simply continues on the way they have been, there are two things you can do to better manage your suspicions.
The 2-Tip Plan for Managing Suspicion
Your suspicions shouldn’t be completely quelled, but they can be managed so that you’re not getting into a state of obsessive thinking about them.
Here are 2 tips to help you manage suspicions…
Avoid the Burying Effect
When you experience a breach of trust but then try to move forward and once again trust your partner, you may feel it’s necessary to bury your feelings.
Don’t.
You don’t want to veer into a state of denial, either. Having suspicious feelings could be your imagination in overdrive… or it could be your early-warning system telling you that something is amiss.
In time, when your partner has proven their trustworthiness, your suspicious feelings should begin to mellow, because there is nothing happening to reinforce them.
Use Suspicions as a Trust-building Guide
If you are feeling suspicious over your partner’s activities, write down what specifically makes you suspicious.
Do they come home late from work several times a week?
Do they take phone calls outside?
Do they change the computer screen when you walk in?
Use these places where your red flag goes up as starting points for what prompts your suspicious feelings… it stems from the behaviors of your partner.
Discuss them with your partner, and see if you can come up with a solution that promotes greater transparency… especially around occurrences that trigger your suspicions.
