Picture this.
You meet the perfect girl. She’s fun, you have a lot in common and she takes your breath away every time she walks in the room. You know you’d be great together, but you don’t know if she likes you – and don’t want to screw things up by making a move at the wrong time.
So you try to win her over by being super-nice; buying her stuff; trying to show yourself from the best possible angle at all times. After all, that’s what women want – right?
Then she goes and breaks your heart by dating some asshole.
If you want to stop this scenario from playing itself out in your life, read this article. Find out how to be what women want and start getting those special girls!
How I “Got” It
Approaching women was hard work when I just started out. After a lifetime of never talking to strangers, I was suddenly meeting scores of girls every week. It was a great experience – but also very tiring.
Some days I’d come home and collapse on the couch like a sack of potatoes, exhausted. In those moments I didn’t want to flirt, think up fun dates or even talk.
What I really wanted was for any of the girls I’d met that day to call and say something like: “I know we just met, but can I come over and cook for you? I’ll grab a movie and some massage oil on my way over. See you in 20!”
Simply put, I wanted to get rescued. I was tired and wished someone could come and make everything better for me.
While that’s a super-unmanly way to feel, that mental state is how I figured out what women really want in men.
What Do You and Starbucks Coffee Have In Common?
Why do you think people go to Starbucks?
It’s not for the extravagantly priced coffee. It’s easy to find better stuff for the same price and plenty of people own coffee machines in 2012.
No, people don’t go to Starbucks for the drinks – they go there for the experience. The nice music; the fun beverages; the rainbow sprinkles; the whipped cream.
So when someone buys a coffee at Starbucks, they’re not buying a coffee – they’re buying a good time. Which is, incidentally, what women want from you.
Remember that Hitch quote? “No woman wakes up saying “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!”?
I love that quote because it’s absolutely true. But notice how the word man isn’t even in that sentence! Yes, women want to get swept off their feet, but the guy doing the sweeping is secondary!
Remember: life is hard. We’ve all got stuff to do and problems to handle. Everyone wants to have a good time; to get distracted from the burdens of everyday life.
When you’re getting to know a woman, she doesn’t know you. All she knows is the experience you’ve given her over your short time together. And if that experience is great, she’ll want more of it.
That’s why it doesn’t matter how much money you’ve got in your bank account. It doesn’t matter that you have problems and issues of your own. It doesn’t matter if you’re ugly, fat, insecure, anxious, worried or lonely – or none of those things.
You don’t matter just like the coffee at Starbucks doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is the experience – or, more specifically, how you can make a woman feel.
Being A Great Experience
The worst kind of guy makes women feel nothing at all. Most men belong to this category. They’re always focused on trying to please; trying not to offend. They’re pure vanilla – and while nobody hates vanilla, nobody’s crazy about it either.
Share yourself; be yourself. Don’t be a vanilla guy! Do what you want, say what you think, don’t be afraid to displease women. It’s better to be hated by some and loved by the others than ignored by everyone.
Here are some other ways to make yourself a better experience:
- Suggest places to go and things to do – don’t ask her what she wants to do all the time. She has the right to say no but you have the right to make an offer.
- Be yourself and be expressive. She can’t experience you if you’re hiding your real self in a misguided effort to please her!
- Don’t be afraid to voice your displeasure (politely). If she’s late, rude, etc, call her out on it. She wants to experience the whole you, not a fake nice-guy façade.
- Put effort into your dates and gifts. Be romantic. Buy her flowers, take her somewhere new, go dancing together – anything but the same old dinner at the place you always go to.
- Understand you can’t get everyone to like you. If you try, you’ll be the boring guy nobody cares about. Show your personality – sure, some girls will hate you, but many will like you.
- Stop trying to impress and start having fun. Our emotional and mental states are contagious: if you’re feeling tense, she’ll feel tense. But if you let go and start enjoying yourself without caring what she thinks, she’ll start to have fun.
- Be different. Even the things we love get old if we do them constantly. Change up the emotions you give her and she’ll never get tired of you.
Women want to be rescued from the dreariness of everyday life; they want men who make them feel something; they want to have a good time. (Basically they’re just like us. Shocking!)
It doesn’t matter that you’re nervous. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the best job, car or flat. All that matters is being able to make a woman feel great. Become a fantastic experience, personified – and you’ll always be wanted.
