Remember the Ferrari Testarossa? Introduced in the mid-’80s, it blew people away with its sound, speed and jaw-dropping gorgeousness. But you know what else is jaw dropping? The thousands of dollars it costs simply to keep one running. In most cases, not really worth it.
Of course, the Testarossa isn’t the only entity that brings “not worth it” to mind. The same is true of the so-called high-maintenance girl. Yes, she may be hot. But she’s also fussy and can be a real pain in the ass/wallet. Fortunately, these women are not too hard to spot. Use this quick and handy guide to decide whether you want to commit to such a creature. Or whether you’d prefer not being three hours late to parties because someone is still putting on makeup.
1. She Checks Her Face Constantly
Keep your eye on your girl. See how much time she spends looking at herself in the mirror. When you’re in the car, does she spend most of her time looking in the rear view mirror, or worse, just admiring herself in the sun visor mirror? If she can’t seem to pass a reflective surface of any kind without giving herself a good twice over, it’s time to put yourself on high-maintenance alert.
Even scarier than what her face just might look like without makeup? The crippling insecurity.
2. She’s Made Up Before You Wake Up
Most women get up in the morning, have a little breakfast and some coffee and then do their faces and get ready to head out. If you wake up every day and she’s already all made up, you’re dealing with a lady who can’t bear the thought of anyone, not even you, seeing her without her “face” on. Even scarier than what her face just might look like without makeup? The crippling insecurity.
3. She’s Neurotic About Sweating
Some women have this weird thing about sweating in front of guys. These women are aptly labeled “high maintenance.” To figure out if your new girl has this hang-up, invite her to do some kind of sport with you on a hot day. If you’re playing tennis and she foregoes running in favor of only swinging at balls two feet away, maybe she’s just lazy. Or maybe she’s terrified of shvitzing in public. You’re going to have to suss out the difference, sir.
4. She Doesn’t Like Eating Anything
Every guy has been with this type of girl before. She’s super picky about what she eats. Nothing you suggest is ever good. The worst part is that while she vetoes everything you come up with, she never has any suggestions of her own. This is perhaps the biggest indicator that you are deep in a high-maintenance situation. And it means that you’re never going to have an easy time planning your friday night dates.
5. She Expects Expensive Gifts
You put a lot of thought and planning into a gift, and then give it to her and she’s… “underwhelmed,” to put it mildly. What’s the problem? You didn’t spend enough. Remember what Mom said: it’s the thought that counts. You grew to understand just how true that phrase is as you got older. She didn’t. She expects you to lavish her with diamonds and pearls at every opportunity. So show her your bank statement. Then head for the door.
