We’ve all been there: You come up for air during a heavy makeout session and feel a distinct burning sensation … on your face. Thanks to Loverboy’s adoption of the rugged men of “Lost“‘s unshaven aesthetic, you’ve got yourself a case of razor burn worse than when you first tried shaving your legs without water.
Love hurts, yes, but it shouldn’t be threaten to ruin all of the hard work of your Proactiv regimen. So what’s a tactful but smitten woman to do when a dude’s facial hair causes her pain?
Advice expert Alanna Kalb, author of the book “Stuff Every Woman Should Know,” has this to say: “Much like wearing lumberjack plaid, beards make men feel masculine. And men like to feel masculine.” In other words, it might be your skin at stake, but it could also be his manhood, so broach the subject with sensitivity.
“Consider your reasons for wanting it gone,” Kalb says. “If it’s the beard-burn that’s bothering you, but it actually suits him, request that he condition it daily.” If it’s just stubble, well, maybe you skip morning sex until he’s had a chance to deal with the regrowth.
In all seriousness, if the situation is dire, consider gifting him a fancy razor and some good-smelling shaving cream, along with an ultimatum: Say adios to the beard or kiss these lips goodbye. Hopefully, your kisser will outrank his stubble on the parabola of importance.
Besides physical pain there are, of course, cosmetic reasons you might wish to intervene in his grooming routine. Thanks to the magic of hormones, men are at liberty to sport all manner of preposterous facial hair. From the egregious and ubiquitous soul patch to the Abe Lincoln, opportunities for guys to look like weenies by growing bizarre things on their faces abound.
“If he looks ridiculous (and, God forbid, the beard is starting to act as a pantry for assorted foodstuffs) state kindly but unequivocally that it needs to go,” says Kalb. The thinking being that often we “assist” men with poor fashion sense by replacing offensive items in their wardrobes – so why not expand that role to his visage?
“Someone needs to make sure he doesn’t become Creepy Beard Guy,” cautions Kalb. “As the woman in his life, that job has your name on it.”
What do you think: Is painful facial hair something you can live with? Is it polite to ask that he mow his face for the sake of your psyche and your skin?