There are things men never want to hear in bed. And there are things we never want to hear anywhere at any time. Are these all bad things? No. We just don’t want to hear them.
“We need to talk.”
Translation: “I need to talk and you need to listen.”
“I consider you a really great friend.”
“…who will never see me naked.”
“I need to teach you how to kiss.”
“You’re not bad-looking.”
“…you’re not good-looking, either.”
“What do you know about (another guy she’s interested in who isn’t you).”
“I’m saving myself for marriage.”
“I love you.” (On the first date)
“Have you thought about joining a gym?”
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
“People in this country bathe too much.”
“You’re like a brother to me.”
Translation: “I’ll never have sex with my brother.”
“I hate to talk about my ex but can I just tell you one story?”
“…that will last over an hour.”
“I love Ayn Rand, don’t you?”
“I should fix you up with my friend.”
“…so you’ll stop asking me out.”
Him: “You wanna go out sometime?”
Her: “With you?”
“I want 17 kids.”
“It’s not you. It’s me.”
