How to Write a Facebook Status Update to Keep Him Interested

Extreme Makeover. Remember the old Wall, the one that didn’t even show the author of the Wall post? Now it’s been nipped, tucked, and plumped up with every bit of your recent Facebook activity. In between the posts from friends, there are recent photos, status updates, new hobbies, links you’ve shared, videos you’ve liked, parties you’ll be attending, friends you’ve accepted. It knows more about you than you know about yourself. And it needs to be managed carefully.

Because whether you realize it or not (or like it or not), you’re going to get checked out. Creeped on. Stalked. Every guy you’re thinking about dating is going to research you, and your mini-feed is like Cliffs Notes for your crush. You might as well use this to your advantage.

Unfortunately, writing a good status update just doesn’t come naturally to some people. Here are some tips to make sure you get lots of “Likes.”

Keep it short.Take a note from Twitter and be brief. As for subject matter, post things you’re excited about or proud of. If a guy is just getting to know you, it’s important that he knows what’s important to you and what you stand for. It’s also good fodder for conversation later. He can leave a comment on the concert you just posted, and then he can take you to the concert in a month.

• A quick scan of your update should leave the impression that you’re cool, smart, and/or funny.But flat-out bragging or reminding everyone how hot you are in your status update is a huge turn-off. It’s OK to say you met a celebrity on a plane. It’s annoying to say he texted you later to have a threesome.
• Remember that sarcasm doesn’t always work online. You may think posting, “God I love Fox News” is clearly a joke, but your hardcore left-leaning new boyfriend might not.
• When Facebook asks, “What’s on your mind?” there are times when you just shouldn’t give an honest answer! Don’t post anything super personal (PMS does not belong here!) or depressing (no one likes a Facebook Debbie Downer). Remember, you’re clicking “Share,” not “Overshare.”
• Be sure to update your status a couple times a day.It’s tempting to act too cool for Facebook, but there’s no shame in using it every day! When you’re not on his homepage, you’re not on his mind. However, you don’t want to be alllll up in his News Feed; five posts a day is plenty — otherwise he may think you have no life.
• If you’re boring or frumpy or you work too much, try to come up with at least one decent update. And try your best to be interesting. Cause … he gets it. You have breakfast every day. Rather than focusing on activities, it’s good to pose questions or observations.
• If you’re not interesting, at least don’t be immature. Lay off the inside jokes, videos of cats, or updates of the silly things you are doing with your “besties.” (And don’t ever say “besties.”) An emoticon once in a while is OK — please use sparingly — but LOLs are not. Are you really laughing out loud as you tell the world you just gave your kitty a bath?
• We all know you’re popular with the gentlemen, so you don’t need to use your status update to incite jealousy. It usually just comes off as desperation. Don’t post that you’re on a date, unless it’s an event (a wedding, a baseball game). Even in that case, don’t mention that it’s with a particular guy; let everyone get curious so they’ll investigate your pictures tomorrow.
• Aim to update at night, when the young professionals are relaxing with their roommates, browsing Faceboook, and having the nightly, “So should I sleep with this person this weekend?” conversation. (What? We all do it.)