Are You Mr. Right or Just Mr. Right Now?

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Dating is tough. The days when a man would see a beautiful girl, smile and hit her over the head with his club to take her home are long gone. In fact, now it’s women who have the leg up (no pun intended) in the dating game. They hear the “offers” men put before them and can either accept or reject them based on their standards. As if it wasn’t hard enough for men to try and get their heads around the best ways to even make an offer there is a new trend among self-empowered women.

Women who haven’t found the love of their lives by age 30 are beginning to give up on the idea of Mr. Right by dropping their standards and settling for Mr. Right Now so they can get married and have kids before their biological clock stops once and for all. So now it seems that men not only have to worry about getting the girl to like him enough to be in a relationship but also if she likes him for him and not just for the sake of being a glorified sperm donor.

Any real man would not want to be settled for, which now begs the question, how do you know if she’s settling for you? Here are 5 signs that she could be.

  1. Sex Isn’t Wildly Passionate and Not Very Often

Sex when in love or in a great relationship is passionate and emotion filled. It’s possibly the truest expression of the bond two people have. The sex should be frequent and initiated by both people and not to mention good. If she’s not very affectionate, nor particularly animated while you are inside her and doesn’t look very enthusiastic about sleeping with you, chances are she sees sex with you as an obligation and puts up with it because she knows she has to add some sort of value to the man she’s settling for.  Sorry.

  1. The Majority of Communication is Practical Rather than Connecting

Communication is a sure fire way to tell the strength of a couple. If they’re constantly talking about all kinds of topics that don’t follow a particular logical order but are personal to them, it’s a good sign that they enjoy one another’s company and are in a good relationship. If the majority of the conversations you have are about practical everyday things like household issues or tasks that need to be done, you may want to ask yourself if these are the kinds of conversations you dreamt of having with the woman of your dreams. She’s probably asked herself the same thing, but no longer cares. Sorry.

  1. She Uses Words like “Nice” and “Comfortable” to Describe your Relationship

The best kind of compliments are those that are specific and individual. It shows us that the other person has paid attention to whatever it is and appreciates us for it There is a justification for it that makes us feel special. Compliments that are not specific to ourselves don’t hold much value, especially when the comment could be said about many others. If she uses broad non-specific terms like “nice” “comfortable”  or “pleasant” chances are she’s making do with you.  Sorry.

  1. She Doesn’t Spend Much Time with You

People in worthwhile relationships actually like to spend time together. In fact, good couple’s try to spend as much time together as possible! They go out of their way to fit in just a couple hours together. If you both spend more time apart than you do together and she’s not too concerned with that, it might be because she just wants you to ease the load of parenthood and take out the trash. She doesn’t need to spend time with the man she’s settling with for that. Sorry.

  1. Routine Seems to be the Foundations of your Relationship.

Love is spontaneous, it knows not of time nor routine. It does as it pleases and does so without paying major attention to the details. Surprise gifts, romantic getaways on the spur of the moment, unplanned midnight skinny dipping are the kind of things people do when in love. They get caught up in the moment and are happy to be whisked away by the wonderfully rapid tides of true romance. If routine seems to be the foundations of your relationship and she’s not too bothered about experiencing new things with you, that’s because she only wants to marry you. There is no need for romance when you settle. Sorry.

At first glance this whole settling thing may be a huge blow to the ego. It would be easy to begrudge women for doing so but while a little misguided there may be a point somewhere in the murky misguided condescending feminism of settling. Perhaps we are all guilty of having too high standards.  We live in the age of newer models and upgrades.

Maybe it’s time all of us stopped looking for perfection and that started making allowances for being human. Humans have flaws, we know this so why don’t we make room for it in our prospective wives and husband?  Make sure you get married for the right reason, if you can identify with quite a few of the above points it might be time to plan a little chat with your princess.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for Loveawake.com dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.
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