If you married and having an affair this post is for you.
Let me play prophetess for a minute and predict the future.
You will convince yourself that you have found the perfect person who happens not to be your spouse. You will come to believe that he or she fills the emptiness inside you. You will tell yourself that you have found your soul mate and that somehow you will be together. You know it is not right but you just can’t help yourself.
You will continue on until you are caught.
Then comes the heartbreak, the sorrow, the pain. You will realize how you have been dishonest and how you cheated on the one to whom you promised faithfulness. You will know the damage you caused to your life partner, your children, your family.
The relationship will end with heartbreak, for you and for all those whom you have hurt.
This scenario happens day after day after day. One doesn’t need to be a therapist to know this is an extraordinarily common story in spite of the fact that those who are having an affair try to convince themselves otherwise.
The clear pattern is, the affair keeps going until someone gets caught.
However, you can change the outcome. Right today, you can made decisions that will save you and your loved ones from the pain and sorrow that is sure to come if you continue on with your deceit and cheating.
Here are your two choices to have a better ending:
1. End the affair and recommit to your marriage.
You do this today. TODAY. Decide you want to live with integrity and honesty, and be faithful to your spouse and children. Know that your excitement about your “friend” is all about attraction, and like everyone in the attraction phase of a relationship your brain is being flooded with those powerful endorphins and chemicals that create excitement and passion. THIS IS NOT LOVE. This is excitement. You have not found your “soul mate” you have found another person to get those chemicals flowing. Rather than invest your time and energy into your marriage and family, you allow yourself to succumb to the flood of excitement that always comes with that first phase of attraction.
You end the affair, pick up the pieces and reinvest in your marriage and family. You recommit to making your marriage healthy and happy. You again live with integrity and goodness.
2. Stop the affair and get a divorce.
Now, I am a believer that virtually all marriages can be saved if both parties are willing to do the work. However, if you have done everything you can to have a healthy and fulfilling marriage and simply know you cannot continue, then you get a divorce BEFORE your continue with your new relationship.
You act with decency and respect. You let go of your selfishness, stop lying and cheating and take the proper steps to end one relationship before you begin another.
Now, I know those of you who read this and are currently having an affair are going to give yourself all sorts of excuses to keep the affair going. You can’t help yourself, you know you need to be together, etc. etc.
But deep down you know what it means to live an honorable life. You know what you are doing violates your conscience and your ideas of decency. You know you are lying, deceiving, and cheating. You can pretend otherwise for a time but to do so only delays the inevitable, which is pain, heartbreak, and the destruction of your family.
Before you bring humiliation and heartbreak to your family and spouse, and yourself, stop the affair. Stop it today. Decide it is over and you will never again allow yourself to be caught in this web of deceit and unfaithfulness.
