Heartbreak has effected us all in some way whether it be in love, life, or business. For some of us it is a distant memory, and for others it still burns, it’s still a fresh wound. Handling disappointments and let downs is a major part of life and none of us are immune. Sometimes it is beyond our control, like the loss of loved one, other times we totally had a hand in it like mistreating our partner so they left, or neglecting our business so it failed. But whatever happened there is no denying or escaping the intense feeling of pain and sorrow that it brings. I mean it literally feels like your heart is broken and physical pain often times accompanies the emotional pain.
In order to “get on with it” we have to learn how to deal with these dark, murky times in our lives, preferably quickly and with grace. The easier we can handle the pain and disappointments, the quicker we can create new and exciting experiences.
1. Kick, scream, cry-let it out
It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to cry. I actually recommend it. Crying is great for releasing stress. It’s “emotional perspiration”, when your emotions get too over-worked your eyes release tears. But the important thing is the tears and emotions are leaving your body through the tears. So let it out. Feel the pain. Allow yourself to grieve and be hurt. Remember that there is NO timeline for your pain, there is no specific way you are supposed to be feeling. Just feel exactly the way you feel.
2. Acknowledge your part+the ending
Everything ends. It’s so normal and natural yet we find ourselves kicking and screaming to hold on to what has to inevitably end. It is simply the circle of life, everything has both a beginning and an end. There is no need for “closure” where you scramble desperately to figure out the “why” and the “how”, or hunt your ex down to ask them what went wrong. You create your own closure. And the reason it’s over is because everything ends. The sooner you recognize and accept that ending, the sooner you will feel that “closure” you are so desperately seeking. Only then will you be able to create a new beginning, which we all know are quite beautiful. Acknowledge the end, when you are ready and accept it, without having to know the why. Accept responsibility. This doesn’t mean order up a pity party for one. No, not at all. It means that if you were the one who neglected your business and it failed then you need to be the one who stands up and admits that. Hang your head in shame if you want, scold yourself quickly, but no pity parties. Don’t fall into blaming yourself. Blame is different than accepting responsibility. Accepting responsibility is empowering, it is saying you have the power to get it right, not like blame that tells you that you are not good enough or calls you a failure.
3. Commune with yourself
Emotionally you need to recover. You need to love on yourself. Celebrate your successes. If you getting out of bed for the first time since the heartbreak is a success, then celebrate it no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. You will need to find clarity, and regroup. I like to sneak away to a hotel, or take a mini vacay, just to be with myself. Commune. Get clarity, recharge. Another trick I like to use is to find everything I can to be thankful for about that situation. If it was a lover I lost I find things about that relationship that added to or enriched my life if even for the moment. I began to become full of love, and the feelings of angst, anger, resentment seem to subside if only for the moment.
4. Allow yourself time to heal+be patient and gracious
You may find that you will do all of these steps at once, or that you end up repeating them over and over. There is no formula for how you grieve and deal. The most important thing is to do it on your terms. Remember that you are in the process of healing a broken heart, and that is a process that takes time. You want to be gracious with yourself, patient with your progress, and careful to allow yourself time to adequately heal in a healthy manner.
What are some ways that you deal with heartbreak in life, love, and in business? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below so that I may learn and grow from you also!