Picture this: you’re sitting at your desk on another typical Monday, doing the same, mundane work that you loathe, when your phone vibrates with a new text. You notice it’s from your best friend, so you waste no time opening it. You’re expecting another “Is it 5:00 yet?” message, but what actually appears on the screen is:
“I have just landed an interview for my dream job!”
As you read it, you know what your reaction should be. “Jumping for joy” would be the appropriate way to react, especially since you care so much about your friend. However, as you’re typing a “THAT’S FANTASTIC!!!” reply, you can feel your face burning with a very different emotion, an emotion that you have been feeling all too often lately: Jealousy.
That green-eyed pain in the rear (no, I don’t mean your boyfriend’s ex) has popped up yet again. She’s poking you, she’s yelling in your ear, she’s doing everything she possibly can to cloud your vision. Before you know it, she has gotten then best of you for the millionth time, and it’s never easy to get rid of her. She makes you forget everything positive about your life so that all you can focus on are the negatives, making you pretty miserable and really screwing with your perspective.
Therefore, as soon as your text sends, you find yourself in one of the office bathroom stalls having yet another meltdown. You begin bombarding yourself with the same questions you drilled yourself with two days ago: What is wrong with me? Why am I such a screw-up? Why isn’t my hard work paying off? Why do I have to work this crappy job while others live their dreams?
You can feel sorry for yourself all you want, but what is that really going to help? Not a darn thing! When suffering from a jealousy-induced panic, you have to be firm and honest with yourself. Drop the excuses, be a big girl, and deal with it in the way that a strong, independent woman would. You can start by:
Okay, so she’s potentially about to land the job she’s been fantasizing about. So what? She didn’t steal your dream job. She didn’t swipe your current job out from under you. Her accomplishments have absolutely nothing to do with you. Therefore, you have no right whatsoever to be acting like she has committed some great abomination against you. If you had spotted her hitting on your man, then you may have an excuse to react a little differently. In this case, though, the jealous reaction is not justified.
Avoiding Your Friend (At Least For a Little While)
The last thing you want to do is ruin her good mood by slipping up and saying something stupid. There is absolutely no point in beginning a fight just because your emotions all rushed in at once. In this circumstance, speaking your mind is not what you want to do. Tape your mouth shut or, in the case of a text conversation, your fingers together because you don’t want to say something you will regret.
Getting Off Your High Horse
For a lot of people, it is easy to have an “all about me” complex, but you have to remember you’re not the only person on the face of the planet. Stop thinking about yourself and do what a best friend is supposed to do in this situation. Be happy for her! And not that fake kind of happy either. I’m talking about genuine, let’s-go-out-drinks-are-on-me happiness.
Letting Someone Slap You
Okay, so maybe not literally slap you, but let someone else talk some sense into you! Turn to someone you trust to be honest with you: your boyfriend, another friend, your mom. Tell that person how you’re feeling, and let him or her tell you what you already know deep down inside. Stop being and idiot! That way, you’re able to get your feelings off your chest, but you’re also given the tough love that you desperately need.
Taking a Hike
Get out of your smothering work environment for a minute or two. Take a walk outside, get some fresh air, and clear your head. Getting out of the cubicle and seeing a little sunshine will automatically remind you that the world is not out to get you. Breathing can sometimes be the best therapy a woman can go through.
Feeling better yet? You simply cannot let Jealousy squirm her way into your mind. Once she is there, getting rid of her is like getting rid of that unwanted zit that pops up the day before a big event. She really is the most frustrating emotion.
If all of the above tactics fail, just remember that you are doing some pretty amazing things. Rumor has it that you’re up for a raise soon, and your books that you have been working on so hard are potentially about to be picked up by a publisher. Heck, you just got those gorgeous heels on sale yesterday, and your boyfriend is pretty easy on the eyes, too. Remember these things, be confident in the woman that you are, and send Jealousy packing.
What do you do to overcome jealousy?