Getting wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life is easy. What is not easy is finding your voice, passion and direction amongst thousands of bombarding influences each day. When life becomes too hard to decipher, typical results are profound confusion, feeling lost, and desperately reaching for direction. That is where I found myself recently. After moving cross country and playing a long game of catch-up, I realized somewhere along the way I lost my own internal guide.
I began taking jobs in a completely different field because people told me it would be great temporary income. Since I just moved to a city that requires two or three jobs to just stay afloat, I thought it couldn’t hurt, right? Well, that slowly turned into more work and attending events that made me feel immensely drained and out of place. During one particular work event in a sleep deprived haze, I began thinking why am I here again? Even with this unsettling realization, I managed to keep plowing along.
It wasn’t until one alarming phone call that snapped me awake. I sat in Sunnyside, Queens on an impromptu business call where the woman asked me to send over the latest articles I’ve written for potential work. That is when it completely hit me: I haven’t written in months! All these previous distractions have taken me far, far away from my first passion of writing. Hit with a dose of depression and anxiety, I knew a drastic change was officially necessary.
I needed a reset button for my own life. I needed a moment to stop and get myself out of this big pit of misguided directions that I swerved into while semi-unconscious. I am not going to lie, a big portion of me wanted to buy the first ticket out of the United States where my phone and email would be shut off. But let’s face it, I hardly have the funds for it, and secondly it wouldn’t solve much when I decided to return to the mess at hand. So what do you do when you need to push that reset button?
Three simple things:
- Find a quiet safe space to fully relax. This might be your bedroom, it might be a favorite room in a library. It could be a yoga class. Whatever will bring you back to your center, where you can clearly hear that quiet inner voice. For me, oddly bathrooms are really serene. I love closing the door on life for a moment to clear my head. Take a few deep breaths in and let go.
- Write out what it is that makes you excited and feel alive. Bombarded by logic, safe reasoning cripples my dreams. I find after tapping into that calming internal voice, I am more capable of really feeling what makes me excited and passionate. Writing it down helps me overcome any blocks I might have. It also helps me to implement steps to accomplishing these dreams.
- Slow and easy wins the race. When life gets too ridiculous, sometimes it is appropriate to throw your hands up and say “fuck it”. When I get to this level of overwhelming stress, I have to go back to the basics. Meaning, letting go of any “obligations” that are not mandatory. Racing around like a maniac, making myself even more worn out and confused will only add to the final spin-out and an impending psychiatric stay. By slowing down and handing off responsibilities, I am able to make better, higher quality decisions. Better decision-making equates to a quick movement in the right direction. And the rest will take care of itself.
I have to remember this is my life, and I don’t owe anyone anything. It is not my responsibility to make other people happy, and it is not my business what other people think of me. Same goes for you! The most important person in your life is YOU, so make sure you are doing what makes you excited to wake up each day!