A lot of people ruin the relationships they’re in because they spend their energy wishing for what they don’t have, and not appreciating the success that has been achieved.
Would this describe you, or your partner?
If you don’t celebrate the relationship success that you do have, that lack of recognition can backfire.
In this blog, we’ll explore what not appreciating your relationship successes becomes an obstacle, and how to remove the obstacle. Read on…
Stopping to Smell the Relationship’s Roses
There are other things in life that drive us to want more, and it’s only natural to want to strive for better, set goals, achieve those goals and feel a sense of accomplishment.
Where it becomes a problem is if there’s a drive for more out of your partner and they get a sense that you’re never satisfied with them and their efforts.
Pining for what you don’t have from your partner can seriously injure your relationship. Your partner can never feel like they’re living up to the expectations that have been set by you.
For example, let’s say you’ve both been working to build your relationship. You’ve had discussions about what your issues are, and you’ve pointed out some things that your partner does that hurt the relationship.
So, your partner really makes a good faith effort to do better. They have sincerely taken to heart what you’ve expressed, and they are working to make modifications in their behavior and reactions and focused on strengthening their bond with you.
But their efforts slide past your radar, unnoticed. Or, if you notice them you don’t stop to acknowledge them.
After a while, your partner loses faith that they really can help foster positive changes in the relationship… and they stop trying.
For many people who don’t celebrate successes, that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy of something they’ve been subconsciously thinking all along: that their relationship can’t be improved.
Here’s how to hit the pause button and begin celebrating successes:
Tip #1: Assess your Outlook
When you think of your relationship’s issues, do you fully believe they can be successfully resolved? That your relationship can evolve to a much better place?
Your outlook has a lot to do with the outcome you get, so be honest with yourself. In order to have positive change in a relationship, you have to believe that it is possible in the first place.
Until you believe in its likelihood, you won’t achieve “success” because you’ll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Tip #2: Acknowledge your Partner
Acknowledging even the smallest positive changes in your relationship and that your partner has made goes a long way in fostering continued positive changes.
It’s a positive feedback loop: when you point out what is right that your partner is doing, they mimic their own behavior to create more of that. And the more positive behavior is practiced, the more it becomes a habit, replacing any negative behaviors.
Tip #3: Celebrate the Success
By focusing on the success in your relationship and regularly celebrating it, the less successful aspects just won’t have as big of an impact on your view of your relationship.
Be sure to regularly celebrate what’s going well in your relationship, verbally telling your partner that you are toasting to the great relationship you are building.
My best to you in creating a successful relationship—and acknowledging it.
Do you celebrate the success in your relationship?
Do you feel you constantly move the bar on your partner without first acknowledging progress?
What would it mean to your relationship to focus on the positive changes rather than the unsuccessful elements?
Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.