Does your partner often say to you, “I love you?” Or, is your partner one who keeps their feelings close to their chest, and doesn’t feel the need to verbalize such feelings?
If your partner rarely, or even never, says “I love you,” you may begin to wonder if they even do. You may suspect the reason they don’t say it is because they don’t feel it.
This may lead to you going into protective mode, distancing yourself from your partner so that they can’t hurt you. Or, it can send you into desperation mode, trying to earn back the love you feel you’ve lost.
In this blog, I’ll introduce an idea for you to try and see if it can put your mind at ease. Read on…
Why Can’t Your Partner Simply Say “I Love You?”
If you’re a very verbal person who is comfortable with expressing your feelings, it can be difficult getting used to a partner who isn’t like that. You may doubt the depth of their feelings because they don’t easily express those feelings the way that you do.
You may think, “Hey, I’m always reassuring him about my feelings, why can’t he do the same for me? Does he expect me to just know?”
Or, “She never tells me those three words. How hard can it be to say them once in a while?”
But for a person who isn’t used to expressing their feelings verbally, it can be very challenging to bring themselves to do so.
Also, your partner may think, “They already know how I feel, so I don’t see the need to repeat myself. I’ve said it a few times, what else is there to say about it?” They don’t think that quantity equals quality, or that they should fulfill some sort of quantity quota for it to mean anything.
For you, though, you may just need the reassurance that those three words give. When you hear them spoken, you feel you can relax because your partner still has feelings for you. And when you don’t hear them… you wonder what’s going on. You may read their lack of expression as meaning their feelings for you have changed.
Here’s the good news… there IS a middle ground that can help you relax and enjoy the love that your partner feels for you. It takes only a small effort to find out how much they love you…
Discover Your Partner’s Way of Telling You “I Love You”
Your partner may be telling you how much they love you all the time, but because they’re not verbally telling you, you’re missing the message.
For a lot of people who struggle to say the words, “I love you,” they tend to do better with showing their love.
It’s called acts of love, and if you change your definition of how you can be reassured of your partner’s love, you can actually revel in how deeply they feel for you. You will want to look for their acts of love. Here are a couple of examples to get you started in looking for ways your partner is telling you “I love you”:
Act of Love Example 1: Your Partner Shows They Know Your Interests
Let’s say you’ve told your partner you’re interested in taking up knitting. While they’re in the bookstore, they come across a magazine devoted to knitting, and they purchase it and bring it home to you.
Someone who doesn’t love you wouldn’t bother. But this shows they have been listening to you, they support you, and they want to show you their support. That’s love.
Act of Love Example 2: Your Partner Looks Out for Your Comfort
If it’s snowing outside, maybe your partner goes out and cleans off your car and gets it warmed up for you before you head out to work. Or, your partner hands you a blanket after noticing you shivering on the couch.
There are countless ways a partner can show how much they care by their attentiveness. It shows they’re tuned in to your comfort and want to look out for you. That’s love.
Over the next few days, take some time and see if you can uncover your partner’s way of saying “I love you.”
My best to you in building the love in your relationship.
Does your partner say “I love you”?
If your partner doesn’t verbalize their love, do you think it means they don’t feel love?
Do you see acts of love on the part of your partner?
Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.