Should Guys Read ’50 Shades of Grey’ Books?

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear – this is NOT a review of the ’50 Shades’ trilogy. Mainly because all three books have been hilariously ripped apart by the brilliant Katrina Lumsden – no, really, her reviews are totally funny and worth checking out – and I have nothing to add. Go ahead, give them a read and I’ll wait here. Promise.

So you’ve now got a general idea what the brou-ha-ha is all out about when it comes to the tale of Ana Steele and Christian Gray.

Haha.

Worth the chuckles, eh?

Good.

Now, back on point.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty – should you, as a guy, bother picking up this trash and reading it?

Our answer is a very carefully qualified ‘It Depends.’

If the women you seem to attract and date are all bringing ’50 Shades’ up as a topic of conversation, if it seems that no matter which girl you open when and where that sometime during your initial date SHE’s the one who opens the ’50 Shades’ box and wants to talk about it, then absolutely YES! You definitely should read these books. By reading them all cover to cover, at the very least you’ll have an understanding of what she’s going on about. At best, you’ll have the opportunity to disqualify her for being bat-shit insane and not worth your emotional investment. 

(You can, of course, still date her as long as you remember the score and keep your emotions in check. Good luck.)

Keep in mind that she must be the one who initiates the discussion on ’50 Shades’ – not you – and as long as the guy does not tip his hand immediately (if ever) that he’s read them, then the Cool Guy can get some good interview questions in that will let his date talk up a storm.

And, in her mind, that’s what a good date is all about: she gets to talk and talk about stuff that interests her while the guy nods and smiles and grunts occasionally. That makes her feel comfortable that he’s willing to listen to her, and that drives up her liking him (assuming she actually liked him from the beginning).

When it comes to ’50 Shades’ here are some good interview questions to ask:

• “Tell me 3 things about the books that you really liked?”
• “What character/s could you relate to best and why?”
• “Which scenes in the book most resonated with you, and why?”
• “Why do you think these books are said to be sooo popular with women right now?”

The answers to those questions should lead to some excellent follow-up questions and keep her talking for a good long while.

If your date liked the books for the sex scenes, be sure to carefully read and study Philip Miller and Molly Devon’s classic ‘Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns’ the absolute best introduction and tour through the fascinating world of BDSM. There’s lots of gold to be mined in that book.

Is she looking for a guy like Christian Gray?

If she says so, you’ll definitely want to find out what aspect about him she finds so attractive. If she tells you it’s his money, good looks, great family, and ‘generosity’ (read he happily buys me expensive things like cars, houses, and jewelry), and that’s not you, then at least you know what you’re getting yourself into. You’re at Golddigger Central – be sure to mind the doors as they close on your head.

More than a decade ago, HBO’s ‘Sex and the City’ messed up the minds of an entire generation of women in their late 20s/early 30s and made them pretty much useless as far as relationships go; filling their heads with all kinds of crap about what their expectations should be (EVERYTHING! I want it ALL – and now!!) along with what their responsibilities and obligations were (none!) when it came to their romantic partners and relationships. ’50 Shades of Grey’ is merely a reboot of this tired, selfish attitude so prevalent in low-value women today.

Now, what about all you guys who haven’t encountered any ladies at all who want to talk about these books?

What if it never comes up as a topic of discussion?

In that case, lucky boy, just don’t bother with them. Just let that sleeping dog lie and quietly walk on past. The stories are total trash and nothing to concern yourself over. Just another shovel of steaming horse dung foist upon us by popular culture to create a greater divide between women and men to make it more difficult for both sides to develop the emotional maturity to enjoy mutually fulfilling relationships.

Nothing you haven’t seen a million times before.

Be grateful you’ve been spared the agony of reading them. Remember, poor Katrina still in rehab after reading them and she’s a SHE.

But you still might want to check out the Miller and Devon book.

Because nothing beats a great mutually agreed-upon fantasy between consenting adults.

Very colorful times, indeed.