There is such a thing as a “Too Perfect Profile”
Ok, the main thing with online dating is finding someone, the whole point of being on the site, right? Right. So lets say, for example, you are on the site and you are doing all the right things, and are following all the tips you know of to meet the right person. The problem is, no one is trying to contact you. How are you supposed to “follow the rules’ of meeting someone, when there has been no one to talk to? You can’t exactly take someone out for a first date if you can’t even get one person to have a chat with you online, can you? No, you can’t.
Well, the problem may still be your profile. I know, I know, you followed all the directions and heeded all of the tips to a “T”. Believe it or not, even though someone might have a great profile and fit the bill of those who might want to meet them, there are still some things that could be wrong with the profiles which may be keeping love away.
What are these things?
- Your Profile Looks Too Perfect
- You Look Like a Spambot or a Spoof Profile!
- You Aren’t Active Enough on the Site
So, with that said, lets take these one by one and see if we can’t explain them and why they may be ruining your chances at online dating love.
#1-Makings of a Perfect Profile
Once you have filled out your dating profile the right way, with all the needed information and added a photo of yourself, you are ready to go to the races at finding someone to call your own. Finding love within an online dating site, while it may seem easy, as we relationship writers are always saying it is, but in reality, well… Um, uh… It really is easy! Sorry, I like keeping things light…
Ok, so when the tips said to be honest and creative, and you believe you were, ask yourself, were you really? But, no matter what the answer, the fact remains you aren’t getting enough hits, almost like you don’t exist on the site. Why? There can be a fine line between candid, honest and too much. Honesty is wonderful, and says something about your character. The profile would say something like, “I am sensitive and I can say this because even though I am a man, I still cry watching An American Tale”, or something of that nature.
Candid is also great, just as long as you don’t go too overboard at which secrets you are putting out there for the whole online dating world to see. Maybe you write something like, “Hi, my name is __ and I love sitting on the back at the movies because of the amount of privacy-I like when no one can see what WE are doing on a date” or something of that nature.
Now, too much would be like going overboard, well that one is usually self explanatory. If you have written anything more honest or candid than along the lines of the examples above, then you might want to go and change it up a bit. Think honesty, not shock value. Usually the laid back honest profiles get the most hits because not only are they original, they are mysterious as well. With a tell all, there is really nothing left to the imagination, is there? Why would anyone want to continue to talk when you’ve already told them everything?
#2-Spambots & Spoof Profiles Are East to Spot, Aren’t they?
Everyone knows what a spambot is, right? It is that annoying machine that goes around to all the blogs and sites, pretending it is a human and tries to get information, or scam people. This phenomenon is rampant within Online Dating sites because there are so many people on the sites whose self esteem has taken quite a hit, so they are easier to manipulate than others, and the hackers who have created these wonderful machines know this, and pattern the Bots after humans, and will tell a dater whatever they want to hear to get the info they want from them.
Now, spoof profiles are something a not so honest dating site will do to make it look like their membership numbers are much more than they really are. They create the profiles just like I have given tips too, and try to make them look as real as possible. They will add a picture, all the profile info and more. And most of the time, both of these types of profiles are easy to spot. Or they will leave unwarranted comments on your profile, or on other posts, such as in the forums with a link to other irrelevant sites. Also, all the profiles look the same, for the most part, because a PC did all the work. Much like a “cookie–cutter” profile would look like. These are the ones that when you write to them, they don’t answer you most of the time.
Lets say you are searching through the singles on the site, and you happen receive a direct message form someone. You go and check out their profile and find you don’t really jive with what they are displaying on their profile, for whatever reason. The worst thing you can do is not answer that person and let them know you aren’t interested. First because it is rude. Most importantly, this behavior on your part makes you look like a spam bot. Not answering is what gives away spambots, and as such you should really answer everyone, even if you are not interested. It’s netiquette, and it just might save you from a boot off the site.
#3-You Have Built, Now They Will Come- Sit Back & Relax, You Did the Hard Work Already, Right?
So, you created the profile, you added the photo, everything is perfect. Hell, you even went back and made sure things weren’t too perfect, just as I said. So, then why is it no one is answering your profile? Why does no one want to talk with you? You don’t seem like you are that dis-interesting, anyway, so what could be the problem now? You should be able to relax while the requests to chat with you come pouring in, right?
Well, no-not exactly. You see, there is a little known function a dating site uses to keep the browsing and the site “fresh” for its users. This function allows certain profiles to be viewed by more singles more times than other profiles. So why is it then yours isn’t being viewed? What is the problem? the problem is you are relaxing. You see, if a person isn’t too active on the site, the function of the particular coding script tells the browse function whether or not to display your profile to other singles who are looking. What is the point of the site displaying your profile to others if you are not active on the site? How active does a person have to be to get more hits?
Here’s an explanation: If you don’t search for singles enough, or even log in enough, your profile will not be seen by others as much as you might want it to, or as much as it could be seen were you more active on the site. many sites work this way. You stay active and your profile goes to the top of the list more often. If you are not active, your profile gets buried behind those who deserve to be on the top because they are the ones being active on the site. So, the more interested you are in the site, the more people will be given a chance to become interested in you. It is that simple.
So, Tone it Down & Get in the Game More
Are you getting the picture, here? Do you have a perfect picture? Does your info happen to be a little, or a lot, similar to many others? This may just be a chance situation, as it is just the luck of the draw, really. but, no matter how much luck there is when it comes to online dating, there are still thee 3 tings a person can do to up their chances of being seen or heard. Finding love really isn’t that difficult, you have just got to want it enough, is all.