I hear all the time men asking me questions like – I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, and I see many attractive girls. But can I meet them? What are the words to say when approaching?
Women are mostly unaware of this, but for a man, approaching a woman involves lots of stresses, considerations, fears, tactics, etc. In fact, something that is supposed to be natural and easy, eventually becomes a rather complicated action. To personally, It’s very frustrating to be in a night club, and see people who live in the same city, pay the same taxes, and yet unable to begin a simple chat with each other. Men try to drink alcohol in order to feel easier approaching women, and still, even with the alcohol, they don’t really know what to say and how to begin an interaction. In this post I will discuss various types of conversation openers (“Pick Up Lines”) and their purposes. Conversation openers are the first and most important step towards “Breaking The Ice” and having a comfortable.
The Purpose of Openers
The purpose of conversation openers is, first of all, to begin a conversation with a person that we don’t know. In addition, the opener needs to make it comfortable for you and the other person to talk. The last purpose of an opener is to convey your qualities and personality. Because we are dealing with opening conversation with women, the opener needs to begin conveying your attractive male qualities.
It’s important to emphasize that a conversation opener, a pick-up line, is still just a line. No conversation and no relationship is going to be based on that one line. Also, nobody is gonna die because of a bad pick up line. Men tend to give excess value and importance to the first line they use. Not knowing the “right line” to use can paralyze us and prevent us from approaching.
“Low Risk” Openers
“Excuse me, what time is it?”, “Do you know where is toilet?”, “How do I get to the mall?”
This kind of openers is very “low risk”. You don’t show any interest, and it might be just an “innocent” question. However, these are also openers that are difficult to continue. You do not convey any strength, confidence or honesty. you just ask an informative question. This kind of opener is recommended if you have a strong fear of approaching women. It’s easier to start with such openers in order to get used to approaching women.
This kind of an opener is designed to attract almost every girl into a conversation. The trick here is to open conversation by asking a question about topics that women like. For example, “Tell me… Do you think it’s OK to date with your ex-girlfriend’s best friend?” (Relationships topic), or “Do you think that it’s ok for men to wear pink shirts?” You can create lots of different opinion openers. It’s an easy opener that breaks the ice and begins an interesting conversation.
A good tip for such openers is to use a question that shows you as an attractive man. For example, if you ask a question in which your female friend(s) is involved, It will be a great way to hint that you have other women in your life. A conversation that begins with an opinion opener will not last long. It will give around a minute or two to move the conversation to other topics, preferably more personal and romantic.
This is a great way to open conversations, as it doesn’t sound “Canned”, as if you use it on every girl.
Situational openers are based on just saying something that is based on the situation. It can be the situation you are in, or the girl is in, or it can be something that is happening around you. What’s important here is that it sounds completely spontaneous. In fact, it is spontaneous. When using this type of opener, you don’t think about “what to say”.
Here are some examples:
- “Hi… You are wearing a pink dress.”
- “You look like 2 girls who met in an online dating site”
- “Wow, why are you sitting in the corner?”
- “Why did you cut your nails so sharp?”
Although situational openers are spontaneous, it’s recommended to refer to something else than physical looks. So don’t free your mind completely. Commenting on a girl’s breasts is not a good opener. Try using what is happening around you, what you or she are wearing, Her movements, what she is doing, etc.
Using situational openers creates an interaction that you have no clue about its script. It can lead you anywhere. It also requires enough confidence to approach women with have a pre-planned opener – you have to improvise it within moments.
From my personal experience, this situational openers result the most fascinating and interesting conversations.
Direct and Sincere Openers
This is the opener men are so afraid of. Being direct and sincere means that you will not have anything “unique” to say. There is no line to remember. It also leaves you most vulnerable to rejection. However, for so many men – this is the only opener possible.
Everything else feels like lying.
- “Hi, you seem a sweet girl. My name is Richard.”
- “I saw you from the corner, and I thought you looked like an interesting girl.”
- “You look very sexy.”
The last example involves a very direct and sincere communication between a man and a woman. It’s great to use in night clubs.
Like in the case of using a situational opener, using a direct opener doesn’t involve too much thinking.
Not Approaching Is the Worst Option
Approaching women seems to be a rather stressful action. Men tend to look for the right lines and things to say. Men who don’t have much experience approaching, will prefer to use low risk openers. Using an opinion opener is also less risky: You know exactly how you will begin and what will happen during the conversation. As you improve and gain confidence and experience, you will find that situational openers and direct openers are the most successful types to open. In both openers, you don’t need to memorize any text. You just approach and say whatever comes to your mind. You will sound sincere, spontaneous and confident.
But Remember: Not approaching is the worst option. Not approaching means that your chances of meeting and dating the girl are exactly 0%. No matter how bad you might perform an approach and how lame your opener will be, it will definitely be better than not approaching.