First Phone Call To A Girl


Today I would like to talk about the step, after you approach a girl and get her phone number.

Many women give away their phone number to men, and aren’t yet sure they are going to date him. If you compare it sales, it’s like a costumer who gives his number to a sales agent. It still doesn’t guarantee that he’s going to pay for the product.

Therefore, your first call to a girl is in fact crucial. In just a few minutes, she will decide if she’s going to date you, or not. Many men believe that just calling a girl, saying “Hi” and asking her out for a date. Well, this tactic sometimes works, but it many cases the girl is not yet ready to say “yes”.

Assume she recognizes you

Begin the conversation, assuming she knows you. I like to say, “Hi, How are you?”. If she doesn’t have your number, she might to recognize you immediately. She will say, “OK”, waiting for you to say who you are. Don’t tell her. Wait for her to either ask or recognize you.

Make her want to meet you

On your first phone call, you actually begin a new interaction with the girl. If she gave you her phone number, it means she is attracted to you in some level. However, she doesn’t remember much from you previous interaction. Therefore – you need to build attraction, again. The same tactics that you use in a regular conversation, use in a phone conversation, and make her attracted to you again.

The most important guideline that I can give you for a first phone call is to make it fun, interesting and exciting. Don’t ask serious questions; just make it fun and easy talking.

Teasing, humor, showing attractive male qualities – This all should be used over the phone.

Finish first, don’t set any date

There are 2 things that most men do on a first phone call, that if you will be the opposite, it will be extremely attractive.

Don’t set a date on the first phone call: When you are calling a girl for the first time, what is she expecting from you? To ask her out, of course. I never set a date on a first phone call. Just talk, be funny, interesting, and that’s it. Make her think to herself: “What did I do wrong? Wasn’t I funny enough?”. When you do that, the girl will be thinking about you for Hours later! Ask her out on your next call, trust me, she will be waiting for it.

Finish the Conversation First: Most men talk to the girl, and let the conversation slowly end. In the beginning, you will probably have lots of funny things to say, and make her laugh and be interested. That’s exactly where you should finish the call. When you are on the peak of the conversation, it should be a few minutes after you began talking, tell her something like: “Well, you know what, I have to go now, let’s talk later”.

Not only that you didn’t set a date, you were extremely interested, and suddenly the conversation ended. She will be expecting your next call.

Address her Fears

There are 2 main fears, or concerns, when a girl is considering whether to go on a date with a guy:

Her Safety: Think about it, she just met you for a few minutes, she doesn’t know you much. She probably heard stories about rapists, maniacs, whatever. It’s not that she is really afraid, but she might have some concerns.

Her Precious Time: Women have experience of boring and weird dates. She is going to prepare for the date (for many women – it takes hours just to choose what to wear), and be with you on the date. It could be a waste of time, and also feel awkward.

When setting a date, I suggest addressing these 2 fears. How? What I prefer to do is make it as if I have the same fears. I would tell a girl, “You know, so far I liked you, but I don’t really know you too much. So, if we are going to meet, let’s do it in some public location, OK?”. You see, now it’s you who is concerned about his safety.

The same can be done about the second concern: “I hope you are not one of those boring girls who can find anything to say on a date”. Her response will be something like “No, of course not”. Now it’s you who is concerned of having a boring date.

How much to wait before calling

I answer this issue last, because it’s so much not important. There is no “rule”. I am against playing childish games. You can call after one day, after 2, or later. You can call even on the same day.

What’s more important is to do it during comfortable time, to you and to her. Usually the early evening (7PM) is a great time, because she will probably be home.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.