Having humor is very important trait in getting good at dating and I would say the three most important traits to being an attractive man would be 1. Confidence, 2. Humour, 3. Positivism
Humour can be learnt just like being confident, having social skills or the ability to have fun, can be e.t.c. nobody was ever born funny or born good with women. It is a learnt behavior which improves with time and practice, the important part of developing anything new is plowing through the beginning phase.
At the start you will appear try hard, it might feel like you aren’t being true to yourself, others might poke fun at you while you are still not comfortable with this new you. This is completely fine because, life is short!! If you know deep down to the core that what you are doing is helping you grow and a good thing then keep at it, in time the people that were making fun or knocking you will accept it, as you become more confident in yourself.
Humour basics; make sure that you are trying to amuse yourself, things that I personally find funny are often things that shock other people. I find it entertaining to see how people react to certain things (usually sexual) and just cause drama and amusement for fun.
This is also a subtle way of qualifying the girl to see if she has a sense of humor and that she is a sexual person. A girl who laughs at my humor will probably be both and that is what I’m looking for, I don’t want to have a “stifled” conversation about presents if I’m not actually looking for something.
This does not mean that you will find the same things that I find funny or that you should use the same jokes and stories that I have listed on this post. If you want to use them for the moment then that’s fine but just make sure you swap them out at a later point when you start to develop your own humor.
SHOCK
“Hey I love your style, your top has two contrasting patterns, the top half is ’lets go CRAZY, get DRUNK have SEX’ and this half is a lot more innocent ’come on now, let us have a quiet night in”
This direct opener/humor is funny because I am starting the conversation with a fairly platonic gay best friend vibe, not said in a gay way. “I love your style” and then I mention the word SEX.
BANG you shock her by using the word sex and she will start laughing:-
A. Because of the surprise
B. The social pressure/tension you have added to the conversation by mentioning Sex.
C. The laughter of recognition that she constantly has thoughts about having sex but also not wanting to appear like a slut going on in her head.
Being sexual in conversation also shows a bit of the wild man side, like you are an uncontrollable beast. Which is very attractive, also being sexual shows that you probably are good at sex and she will probably start thinking about you having sex. This is probably over-analysis, but useful if you want to understand when developing your own humor.
In mid conversation I might also say stuff like:-
1. “Can I have some tit milk now, please? I’m tired and need a feed ”
2. In the case of having a threesome setup – “Why don’t we all suck on each other’s tits, get you two together scissoring it up together (scissor action) Snip Snip :-p”
”3. “Will you finally cheer up when I allow you to see me nude later, when I ejaculate inside your bottom. Will you smile then?
4. What happened when you first met each other?
Girl: “He came over and chatted me up at the bar”
Pua: “Well not quite like that, I came over to ask a general question and she started adjusting her tits and then mentioned about having a lot of junk in her trunk” , “It made things awkward ”.
Now is what I’m saying that funny? Yes and No, it is more to do with the social tension that is being generated and also I’m making the girl the dorky one in the role-play, this is fun and part of flirting.
5. Pua: “Imagine if we were to have kids in the future and you told them about how I used to be a bit of a ladies man……. its hard to believe now as you look out into the garden and you see me there all nude thrashing about with the lawn mower”
Number 5 has a role play, us being together in the future with children. It has the comedy setup which is that I used to be a bit of a ladies man, so you then expect the story to end with me changing into a nice guy but instead I haven’t changed at all. The story also adds the element of sex with me being naked and thrashing about in the garden which adds sexual tension and humor release.
Humour comes when you are relaxed and comfortable in yourself as well as knowing some basic structure. You can learn humor by watching Stand Up Comedy DVDs, hanging out with funny people, or searching for interviews with funny role models. The main principle is to lead the story in one direction and then the punch line is the Surprise / Shock that the listener wasn’t expecting.
Self-deprecating humor can be funny and high value in many situations for example
“Hey my name is Kingy, I have a tiny willy and I‘m a complete arsehole, will you be my friend? ”
In this case I am clearly joking and this also sub-communicates high value, because what guy would ever walk up to a hot girl and blow himself out like that unless he had lots of options? This is funny because as I’m approaching, the girl is probably expecting me to start bragging and showing her some Rolex watch or something so it’s the opposite and also I start telling her all these bad things about myself and at the end with a big smile on my face I ask if she wants to be my friend J That is the shock.
Self-deprecating humor that is low value can get a laugh but shortly after telling the joke the girl will lose attraction and walk off. Using low-value self-deprecating humor in front of your friends will also lead to them thinking that you are less of a cool guy. For example
“I went on a date with this girl and this other guy showed up as well, yeah she invited two of us and I ended up going home alone.”
This might be a funny story but it conveys lots of low-value characteristics, that girls aren’t interested in you already, you lost, you stayed at the date despite being disrespectful e.t.c.
Have you ever had a friend that makes you laugh lots but he’s always negative or self-deprecating, it can leave you feeling a bit icky afterwards cant it. Stories like the one above are very common and although they can be funny in the moment shortly after telling the story the girl will lose attraction for you.
Comedians can also be very funny and still not get laid, often times that is because their humor is crossing over the boundary into clown mode and they lose their value. Clown mode is when you are trying to get a reaction and not just having fun for yourself. Examples of this could mean “jumping around, telling too many jokes, looking for the girls approval, exhibiting low-value behavior for a laugh”.
If in doubt whether your joke has value tell it anyway for your own amusement and because you are just having fun most times you will be given a pass even if the joke sub-communicates low-value things.
When first trying to improve your humor I recommend that you memorize some funny lines or stories that you hear or get told. This can be done by hanging out with funny friends, watching stand-up comedy DVDs, Youtube Interviews, going to comedy nights, American Sitcoms e.t.c.
Then when your out and in set you can play around with the jokes you’ve learnt making sure you tell them for your amusement. Remembering jokes will be difficult at first and you will find that you need to force yourself but with time you naturally start to remember jokes automatically and use them naturally in conversation without forcing it.
As your database of humor increases you will subconsciously start to recognize the patterns in humor, that changing your voice at appropriate times helps, pausing builds suspense, allowing you to make up your own jokes in the moment. Leading to “OMG that was funny, where did that come from” times in conversation.
Keep having fun with it and building your humor as much as you can this is crucial for maintaining long-term relationships with everyone, girls thinking your attractive and guys thinking you are the cool guy.
You should always be growing at everything in life and your personality and humor should be no different, if I was ever to stop teaching I would never stop going out, going to the gym or working on myself. The glory is to be had in progress and achieving is essentially what being a man is all about.
Finally, try to live your life in a way that is good and giving, if I was to behave as a right git in the rest of my life how could I possibly expect people to love me and laugh at me when I’m out teaching/socializing. Try not to Lie, Cheat, Steal, Bitch and all those other things that we got taught about at first school.
I’m not saying I’m perfect, far from it but I do try to be nice and look for the best in all people, I don’t let go of my values or give my power away but at the same time I try to love and look for the good in everyone. This will also help remove any anger or resentment which can stop an otherwise awesome joke hitting just because you sounded a bit bitter.
Laughter will blur the line a lot, because positive emotions will get anchored to you when a girl is laughing at your joke. It’s hard to dislike someone that makes you laugh, give it ago – its tough
