Recently my boyfriend and I decided to call it quits. After a lengthy, drama-packed relationship, the ending was pretty anticlimactic (via text, to boot). There was no crying in person or begging for another chance or holding a boombox outside anyone’s window — we’d both just had enough. While I did spend the first couple weeks post-breakup questioning my existence, I gradually started to rediscover some of the great things about flying solo. (It’d been five years since I was truly single.)
Relationships are wonderful, but they’re also a lot of work. So when one’s gone sour, there’s nothing to balance out all that effort. Ending that relationship left me with more energy and less drama. Here are my favorite parts:
My phone is my friend again
When I was in a relationship, my phone turned into my enemy. Every time it made a noise or was silent for too long, I would tense up in the hopes that it was my dude answering the text I sent two hours ago. Every time that proved true, I was hyper and anxious about sending my reply; every time it didn’t, I felt disappointed and then embarrassed at my own reaction.
Even though I knew it was pathetic, I’d still constantly pretend to be checking the time every other second just to see if he actually answered.
I am healthier
My ex and I went out to eat almost every night we hung out. And since I’m not an ‘I’ll- have-a-salad-hold-the-dressing’ type of girl, I was rarely eating foods that were good for me, unless ordering a small fry instead of medium was considered a health-conscious alternative.
Needless to say I packed on a few pounds and lost a few hundred dollars in my quest to induce a heart attack at the age of 23. Now, not only am I saving money, but I also have that post-breakup motivation to get my butt back in shape.
The only time I cry is when I’m laughing too hard
After spending every other day of the week in tears, I can proudly admit that I have not cried for the last two-and-a-half months! And while that may not seem like a large feat to some, after shedding many unwanted and unnecessary tears trying to make things work, it is for me.
Coincidentally, I also stopped using birth control (which I think played a role in my morphing into a psycho-lunatic-crybaby). Now I will never know if the hormones were messing with me, or if I’m just plain crazy (my doctor’s words, not mine).
I live a sex-stress-free life
The sex aspect of my relationship always tended to stress me out. We just weren’t having it enough and the idea of trying to fix it was out of the question — trust me I tried.
It went from being amazing to dull overnight, and because of that, feelings of insecurity started to eat away at me. Was I not pretty enough? Did I not turn him on? Was there someone else? The list went on.
Now it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hardly ever think about sex, and I definitely don’t feel bad about myself anymore because everyone deserves to have a great sex life!
Amy Lynn blogs regularly about relationships for Loveawake.
So tell us: What makes being single so great for you? What have you learned post-breakup?
The best part of being single is accepting yourself. When in a relationship you work hard to mantain a certain perception to keep that person, nd in most cases change the thing that make you who you are, all to keep them.And people mostly do this unintentionally nd dont realize it, but we tend conform to what they want. Plus dating more ppl is fun, getting to know different ppl
What’s so great about being single? It’s like quitting a part-time job that you have in addition to your full-time job. Sure, you liked that extra paycheck (in the form of affection, sex, the occasional free meal) but it’s so nice to have your free time back! Every time you have to call to check in and say goodnight, you’re punching the clock. I am so happy to be single again–and off the clock.
I guess everything has its pros and cons… I was in a relationship for more than 3 years and it was almost like a marriage and I wasn’t happy or at least it wasn’t the kind of “happy” I was hoping for… Now I’ve been single for a year and even though I’ve dated and I was in another intimate relationship lets just say it was nothing like my “x” the things I do enjoy from being single are the simple things…
-Being able to spend time at my own home with my family without having to ask or tell
-Being able to make plans for Christmas and new years without interfering with his plans…
-having my own time to study and take care of business not having to rush through a chapter because he wants all my attention on him
-being able to visit my friends wout a time limit
-not waiting about call waiting or missing a call from him, because hell would break!!!
The best thing about being single is doing everything YOU want to do when YOU want to do it. Having to constantly think about you AND someone else can be exhausting, so a lot of times THEY end up coming first and you don’t even realize you are doing it.You set your true happiness aside for theirs.It is lonely sometimes, but the freedom is so comforting. I still keep my toenails painted and wear sexy lace to bed, but it’s because I like the way it feels and not to please someone else. I also find that I take better care of my health, eat better and exercise more.Relationships are too overrated – you don’t have to have a man in your life to be complete.
[…] throw your head back, stop gripping the rail, and let the wind blow through your hair. Loosen up. It’s a great time to be single: let’s celebrate! Stop worrying so much about when you are going to find the perfect man, or when you will get […]