Recently my boyfriend and I decided to call it quits. After a lengthy, drama-packed relationship, the ending was pretty anticlimactic (via text, to boot). There was no crying in person or begging for another chance or holding a boombox outside anyone’s window — we’d both just had enough. While I did spend the first couple weeks post-breakup questioning my existence, I gradually started to rediscover some of the great things about flying solo. (It’d been five years since I was truly single.)
Relationships are wonderful, but they’re also a lot of work. So when one’s gone sour, there’s nothing to balance out all that effort. Ending that relationship left me with more energy and less drama. Here are my favorite parts:
My phone is my friend again
When I was in a relationship, my phone turned into my enemy. Every time it made a noise or was silent for too long, I would tense up in the hopes that it was my dude answering the text I sent two hours ago. Every time that proved true, I was hyper and anxious about sending my reply; every time it didn’t, I felt disappointed and then embarrassed at my own reaction.
Even though I knew it was pathetic, I’d still constantly pretend to be checking the time every other second just to see if he actually answered.
I am healthier
My ex and I went out to eat almost every night we hung out. And since I’m not an ‘I’ll- have-a-salad-hold-the-dressing’ type of girl, I was rarely eating foods that were good for me, unless ordering a small fry instead of medium was considered a health-conscious alternative.
Needless to say I packed on a few pounds and lost a few hundred dollars in my quest to induce a heart attack at the age of 23. Now, not only am I saving money, but I also have that post-breakup motivation to get my butt back in shape.
The only time I cry is when I’m laughing too hard
After spending every other day of the week in tears, I can proudly admit that I have not cried for the last two-and-a-half months! And while that may not seem like a large feat to some, after shedding many unwanted and unnecessary tears trying to make things work, it is for me.
Coincidentally, I also stopped using birth control (which I think played a role in my morphing into a psycho-lunatic-crybaby). Now I will never know if the hormones were messing with me, or if I’m just plain crazy (my doctor’s words, not mine).
I live a sex-stress-free life
The sex aspect of my relationship always tended to stress me out. We just weren’t having it enough and the idea of trying to fix it was out of the question — trust me I tried.
It went from being amazing to dull overnight, and because of that, feelings of insecurity started to eat away at me. Was I not pretty enough? Did I not turn him on? Was there someone else? The list went on.
Now it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hardly ever think about sex, and I definitely don’t feel bad about myself anymore because everyone deserves to have a great sex life!
Amy Lynn blogs regularly about relationships for Loveawake.
So tell us: What makes being single so great for you? What have you learned post-breakup?