10 Things Not to Say to a Guy While You’re Shopping

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Believe it or not, some guys like to go shopping; unfortunately, neither of them could be reached for comment.

Most of the time, a shopping hostage will keep himself occupied staring at naked mannequins and looking for the nearest GameStop. Just make sure not to utter any of the following lines, lest your current couple’s shopping list become your last.

10. “Does this make me look fat?”

Hint: No more or less than any of the rest of your clothes. OK, if you didn’t expect this comment to show up on the list, you must be on your first date.

9. “Come on, shopping with me isn’t that bad.”

A-ha! By saying this, you admit that it’s bad.

8. “I’m gonna try this on. Don’t move!”

Yes, sir! Avoid barking commandments like a drill sergeant, and tell us you’d love to know what we think about your selections. You’ll let us know you value our opinion — or at least pretend to.

7. “They never have my size!”

Then why the hell are we here?

6. “No! Don’t look at the size tag!”

Look, if we’ve already seen you naked, we don’t care about what a little snip of fabric inside your clothes says about how you look. Instead of trying to hide the number, why not tell us so we can buy you something nice in the future?

5. “Buy me this.” 

… said the 12-year-old before throwing a temper tantrum. Instead, make it blatantly obvious that you dig whatever item you’re referring to. Then, leave it up to us to return to the store and snag it as a surprise.

4. “Here, hold these.”

Thanks for all the bags, really. What’s inside? Clearly, it’s not the common decency associated with treating us like your personal assistant. That must be on the other end of the mall.

3. “Let’s get you a shirt … “

Again, this suggestion is indicative of a control freak. It makes us suspect you didn’t really need to pick up a wedding gift at the mall after all, but that you were trying to lure us here for an ambush makeover. Ego blow! Why not tell us what you think looks good, and let us decide for ourselves.

2. “Ugh. These cashiers are so stupid.”

A girl who complains is a bigger turn off than an EMP blast. We’re sorry that the line of shoppers didn’t part and welcome you to the front like you expected but, considering the fact that one out of every 10 American citizens has held a retail job position, you might be the exact type of customer we used to rag on in the break room.

1. “I’m short on cash and my credit card’s maxed out. Can you spot me?”

It’s not that we mind buying you stuff, it’s that we’re hearing about your irresponsibility, reckless spending and lack of judgment while you’re holding yet another pair of “perfect” jeans

5 COMMENTS

  1. Well you could not inflict that pain at all and NOT take a guy shopping in the first place!

    I get the whole .. we are dating and comfortable with eachother thing. But if he doesn’t like shopping don’t take him!!

    I really feel sorry for the poor guys who are dragged into these girly clothing stores with pink plastered all over the walls. They stick out like a sore thumb.

    If your man likes shopping. Fine take him have a good time. But if he would really prefer to be doing something else with you.

    Then do that with him. And grab ur girlfriend and take her shopping instead. She will at least give you the answer you are looking for when you ask “Does my butt look big in this?!”

  2. Well…here is a thought for the guys…but I must preface this by saying that I am a guy, and I love to SHOP!! But my view is that guys can learn a lot by going shopping with their partners. I agree with some of the comments in the article. But for it to be successful the guy has to be positive about going.

    Shopping or even just walking around the mall provides a great place to talk and share. And in the process it allows the guy to learn (if he is paying attention) what she likes and wants. It needs to be recon for future reference.

    And if the guy is positive from the beginning then I would think that the woman would not feel like she is dragging him along which would cause many of the occurrences from this list!!

  3. I think that taking your husband shopping with you is a good thing whether or not you do or don’t have kids. This gives him an opportunity to learn not only about his wife but about his kids and what’s new and exciting things he could purchase as gifts for his family members. I have been married 19 years and dnow that my husband is disabled and he can’t and mostly won’t because after his accident in 2004 doesn’t want to be stared at in the stores or restaurants because of the cane and how slow he walks stays home with our daughters and shops online. Me and my husband used to go everywhere together and when he wasn’t exactly comfortable or just didn’t like where we went or the activity we attended he would tell me. He still likes to shop and get me and the girls things when he has any money in his pocket. He had told me once many years ago, ” I just want you to have it because it’s beautiful like you or it looks good on you or I know that you like it and wanted one…” or some things like that. Not all men are like that and are still stuck in the fifties where women did stuff like shopping while the men worked. I’m glad my husband has an open mind and like to be a part of everything as best as he can with his disability.