Ostensibly, marriage is a sacrament wherein two people vow to love each other until they death do them part. Across the world, every culture has a different way of celebrating a marriage, but what remains the same is the sanctity of the institution.
Marriage is designed to be a lifetime commitment. Unfortunately, this promise of forever is often cut short by divorce, a commonly-exercised legal option in the United States and most other countries. Divorce nullifies the vows that the couple made. Today, the rate of divorce is increasing quickly, making more and more people question the relevance of marriage as an institution.
Divorce vs. marriage
With increasing numbers of people opting for divorce, is it old-fashioned to still believe in marriage? I don’t think so. Cynics may assert that marriage is nothing but a state-backed contract between two people, but it is far from that.
The advent of divorce has made marriage less important, less sacred in the eyes of many people. This is why they think the concept of marriage is old-fashioned, and the promise made to stay together just an unrealistically optimistic fairytale. I believe that the increasing number of marriages ending up in divorce reflect many things.
The increasing divorce rate is evidence that couples are giving up easily
Many couples now see divorce as the easy way out of an unhappy marriage. It could be that the busyness and “grinding down” effect of modern lifestyles rob married couples of the energy they need to deal with marital problems. Couples resort to ending their relationship instead of directing all their energies doing to save it.
I believe that couples who decide to get married need to be mature enough to understand that they are making a lifetime commitment. You need to weather the storms. During times of conflict, sticking to your promise can be challenging. It is easy to forget about the good times and only remember the conflicts in your marriage.
But whatever your reasons and justifications, you should work on your marriage. A marriage that both partners work at will be like a fine wine–it will only get better with age. The trials you experience in your marriage will will only make your marriage stronger once you overcome them.
Many couples have the wrong idea of what marriage is all about
People read about fairy tales that end with happily-ever-afters. They think that once they get married, their happily ever after will begin. Little do they know that for any marriage to succeed, it requires work. There will be situations that require compromise and sacrifice.
Every marriage with longevity experiences tough times. But it is important for couples to understand that marriage doesn’t succeed just because it exists. Marriage is a relationship. Like any relationship, it has its ups and downs. Getting married isn’t a way of solving existing problems. The problems will still be there, but once married, they will be easier to solve because you have a partner who loves you and who will work with you. You have someone who will help you and support you along the path to a solution.
Divorce is degradation
Some may argue that divorce can represent progress and healthy evolution. After all, nobody likes the idea of being stuck in an unhappy marriage. But even for goal-focused, forward-thinking individual, divorce shouldn’t be the go-to quick fix solution. You shouldn’t give up on your husband or wife easily. You can go to counseling, you can make time to work on your problems. Divorce should mean that you have exhausted all possible other options. Why? Because you vowed to love your partner forever. You need to do your best to fulfill the promise you’ve made, and make our marriage succeed.
Is marriage really old-fashioned? Doesn’t divorce just mean you’re being honest about the situation?
The truth is, it’s the other way around. Divorce usually means you’re lying to yourself. It may get you out of an unhappy marriage, but it doesn’t address the root of your unhappiness. You’re more than likely to get married again, suffering from the same defects that were responsible for your first marriage failing. Your next marriage is even more likelt to be an unhappy one.
On the other hand, working hard to build a successful marriage is synonymous with progress. A happy marriage is the foundation of a strong family, and strong, happy families are the backbones of strong, happy communities and countries. And that, for you and for everyone else, is real progress.