First Date, Done! Now for a Second Date Survival Guide


So you’ve put your best foot forward and the first date was a success. Thankfully, she’s up for another one and you, my friend, are about to step into a whole new, riskier world of second dates.

We’re not trying to scare you off here. In fact, we’re here to let you in on the ultimate second date survival guide. With first impressions out of the way and it’s now time to get to know each other more seriously, so it’s just right to come prepared.

  1. Pick her up

If you met up in fancy restaurant on your first date, then consider picking her up for the second one. This prevents that uneasy feeling of making her wait somewhere (or you waiting for her). Plus, it makes for a more relaxed atmosphere that you both need in order to make things lighter.

  1. Opt for somewhere more casual

No, it’s not to make her feel bad that the first date burned a deep hole in your pocket. Opting for a dive bar with the best wings or an authentic Italian pizza place means you want to get to know her better while being in a better, low-pressure venue. Here, you’ll realize that it’s not the tasting menu that matters – it’s all about getting to know the real her.

  1. Don’t overthink things

Meaning, keep it simple stupid. Stop beating yourself up on your way to her place. Avoid planning on what you’re going to say or what you’re going to bring up once you’re together. Allow a bigger room for spontaneity and ease by going with the flow. Otherwise, you’ll come off as a stiff.

  1. Revisit your first date memories

You know how she told you about that interview that could get her a higher position at work on your first date? Revisit that conversation and ask how she did in that department. Revisiting memories from your first date tells her that what she said matters to you. Trust us when we say girls go gaga over men who are able to remember things about herself.

  1. Ask more (and better) questions

Before we go any further on this one, we’d like to make it clear to you: Don’t overdo this or else it will sound forced. The best way to go about this is to ask her questions by paying attention to detail, like how long she’s kept short or long hair or if she’s ever come in to this place you’re in now. As the night goes on, don’t be afraid to go deeper, by asking her what her dreams (or nightmares) are. Women appreciate men who show genuine interest so use the second date to get to know her a lot better.

6. Use the word, “want” more

“Need” entails a lot more pressure at this stage. “Want” on the other hand, is going to be your trusted word. Say you’re inviting her to go out for a casual dinner, say, “I want you to go here with you” instead of “Let’s go here!”. Consider this as your keyword to making her think you are not selfish. With this word you’re able to show her that you’re in this together.

  1. Hold back on that gift

Sure it’s great to show her your excitement upon seeing her again but not with a gift. Nope, not at this point. Women on second dates do feel uncomfortable when they receive a token at such an early stage. Instead, give her a compliment like, “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again” or “You look beautiful!”

Gifts will come after, if you’re able to take the right steps.

So don’t let the nerves overcome you. Second dates are meant to be easier, more relaxed and a chance to realize if whether you both want to take the next step or not.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.