How To Overcome Your Inner Fears

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Okay guys, here’s what I want you to do. Right now, I know that many of you are sitting back in your La-Z-Boy recliners watching sports, eating cheese doodles, and drinking beer. You have no intention of leaving your house – but the idea I am going to suggest is going to revolutionize the way you get attention from all the single ladies.

I want you to get up, head out the door, and go find a nice wide sidewalk with a great deal of foot traffic. The more foot traffic, the better because, like retail, when you’re out searching for gorgeous ladies to get a date with, “location, location, location” is of utmost importance.

Now, I want you to lay down on that nice wide sidewalk, spread your arms and legs out real far like you’re in a crime scene and say “Hi baby, care to pick a hot hunk up today?” to every pretty woman who walks by or over you. Don’t worry about the shoe marks you’re getting all over your clothes. Isn’t that why you wore those old clothes in the first place? They will just blend in with the rips and mustard stains you have on that over-sized t-shirt with the ring-around-the collar. And women love a guy who has grease stains and holes in his jeans – it makes him look more manly. That greasy, long hair drives them crazy when they run their fingers through it. (Note: That was sarcasm. Don’t actually do this stuff I just recommended.)

At times, it may feel like no matter what you do, you can’t seem to get a single woman to even look your way, nevermind notice you. I understand how you feel because at one time I was just like you.

During high school, I never had a date and even skipped going to the Prom because I had nobody to go with. It’s not because I wasn’t a nice guy or that it was impossible for anybody to actually like me. My problem was that I not only dressed horribly but was super shy and talked so little you’d swear I was a mute. Even the thought of talking to a women petrified me. My heart would pound out of my chest. Both my palms would begin to sweat, and then came all the horrible thoughts about why she wouldn’t like me flying through my mind like race cars.

As is the case with most men, the enemy wasn’t women but me, holding myself back with imaginary faults I thought I had and pre-conceived reasons why women wouldn’t like me. All that time spent in the gym bulking up did nothing to sway my mindset.

This type of thinking not only destroys confidence but also creates a ton of depression that builds up inside of you, eventually consuming you, like you were prey.

I’m not going to lie to you. Overcoming this type of obstacle is going to be the toughest challenge that you’re ever going to face your whole life. There are going to be times when it will feel like you’re climbing a massive mountain. You look down to witness the incredible height, you grip the rocks tight hoping that your grip doesn’t give out. Then you look up at the impossible-looking distance you have left to go and wonder if you’re actually capable of making it. You do the unthinkable and consider giving up.

Meeting women will be the same way. You will see all kinds of attractive women that you’d love to talk to but will hesitate due to your inner fears. When you do start to finally talk to women, during the whole time the negative voices in your head will make you wonder if she likes you. All this turmoil built up inside of you will cause you to hesitate to push forward and even ask for a date.

This is when you have to push forward and slowly but gradually push yourself outside your comfort zone. Everyday you will have to set small goals and then set plans in order to achieve them. As you accomplish each of these small goals you will realize that what you once thought to be impossible is actually possible and, like climbing a mountain, see yourself climbing toward the top of a much bigger goal. The goal of being more confident, social around people and being able to talk to women.

Here are some tips to guide you along the way.

  • Like I did, stop focusing on yourself for a bit and take a look around at the type of men that women are dating. You will notice that most of these men are no different than you are. Many are just as average and others not nearly as attractive. If they can get a date, why can’t you?
  • Focus on the main goal by breaking it up into daily smaller goals that can be achieved immediately. By accomplishing smaller daily goalsm you not only start to feel more confident but you also won’t become overwhelmed by trying to accomplish too big a goal all at once.
  • Just like anything else in life there will be times when it feels like you’re not getting anywhere when trying achieve your goals. It’s equivalent of driving 80 mph and all of a sudden having your progress come to a complete stop when you a brick wall. You may feel as crappy as if you hit a real wall, but if you do the opposite of what most people do by not giving up, eventually you will find a way to overcome these obstacles, and the feeling of defeating them will be amazing.

All this hard work is not going to pay off overnight. It’s going to take alot of brutal work to overcome years of negative conditioning, and at times will feel like life is beating you down every step of the way. This is when you will have to dig down deep, grit your teeth and keep pushing forward like a bulldozer. No man who has ever accomplished anything incredible hasn’t had his fair share of pain, suffering and defeat. The only difference is that, unlike the ones who lost, he never gave up. Which one are you?