As easy as it is to vilify online dating, not everything about it sucks.
For example, you actually get to weed through mass amounts of people in a short period of time looking for what are deal breakers and deal makers for you personally. Not so easy to do at a bar when you are shouting over music and avoiding the REALLY drunk girl’s drink being spilled all over your back.
Some people are actually looking and posting online because they want what they say they want — a relationship with a quality person. Its not easy since there are a lot of…ummm…”non-truth tellers” out there, but there are also a lot of very transparent and honest profiles where you can see a glimpse behind the cute dimples into his or her actual personality and priorities.
Here are some quick tips to look for in a good profile:
1. Take a look at the “handle” the person has chosen.
If its something along the lines of “playeronlyforyou” then you may want to skip ahead to the “marathonerinATX” profile. One says pretty clearly that they are online to get some nooky and the other expresses an honest identity and possible shared interest. (they may also want the non-committed nooky — but then, that’s the risk you take with any date *grin*)
2. Take a look at the interests and activities
They can show you a lot about how a person approaches the world. For example — if they have checked off every interests box from housecleaning to running and everything in between — you may want to look at the rest of the profile to see if they are just exuberant and high on life or if they are casting a wide net in hopes to pick up anyone.
3. Read the whole profile.
Yes, people can be REALLY long winded at times, but the great thing about the long winded daters — you get a more complete picture of what is important enough for them to say to virtual strangers. If there isn’t a whole lot of info there, you may be dealing with a “clicker” or “cut-n-paster” (they are notorious for the wink and run or the cut and paste emails to everyone) OR you could be dealing with someone who values their privacy and will not only want you to as well but will respect your privacy in return. Look for consistency.
4. Pictures…ah pictures.
Look for the current, clear and non-photoshopped kinds. Some people will post LOTS of pictures and some only one or two — both approaches tell you how they want to be approached. If they have 15 pictures and only 2 paragraphs — this is someone who knows they are attractive and want you to notice that as well. If they have 2 pictures and 15 paragraphs — they want you to actually be a compatible match for what they are interested in. (ie. if they wrote about fitness and health or movies and music or school and family — you now know what they want you to pay attention to.) If their pictures tell a story in and of themselves — read that story. Are they with friends in every shot? Are they in places all over the world? Are they shaking hands with famous types? Are they engaged in activities in every shot? Read that photographic story and you have some important information to digest.
5. Look at what they want in a match.
Do they specify a few particular religions or say any and all? Do they want only “slender” and “athletic” or do they run the gamut from “slender” to “stocky” or “curvy” or “large?” Do they have an wide age bracket or a small one and are you inside it? Ethnic preferences? All of these things are important to notice if you want to get a return email and will tell you again, what is really important to that dater. For example, if they have no preference on the religion part, they are a good fit for someone who also has no preference. If they single out one or two — they are going to seriously look for those on your profile as well.
There are more tips to be had — but surely some of you have tips of your own. Would love to hear the comments from the folks who have braved the online dating scene. A quick word of advice…check into the reputation of the site you are signing up on as each has it’s own predominant personality…for example — adultfriendfinder — all sex all the time. match.com — hook ups and hotties. Chemistry and Eharmony — serious relationship seekers.