Social media platforms are some of the greatest inventions of our generation and we love us some social media. Whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram; you’ve got a million different ways to share your life and connect with friends. Think about it, ten years ago if you wanted to talk to a friend to catch up you actually had to use the art of conversation and speech. I know, what a weird concept! In many ways social media has made our lives easier, how else could you force people to view 500 pictures of your cat? We’re connected all day everyday, and we all have our pet peeves about it so here are my 8 reasons social media is awful.
Everybody’s a Superstar
I get that social media offers an opportunity to reach millions of people around the world but it’s also given everybody and their mamma a platform for their rise to fame. Every time I turn around somebody’s dropping their latest album, pushing their handmade jewelry, or flooding my news feed with pictures from their latest party. Look under occupation and everyone is a model, rapper or Dj, please don’t tell me about your “upcoming photo-shoot” when really it’s just your grandma taking pictures of you in the backyard. I’m all for furthering your dreams but don’t flood my news feed with your bullshit. Spend more time on your craft than you do your status updates and then we can talk.
The Death of the English Language
First it was the 140-character restriction on twitter now it’s just an all out war on the English language. Look, I get it you don’t want to write a novel length update (I don’t want to read it anyway) but when did it become socially acceptable to speak in shorten acronyms in real life. If I’m standing across from you and instead of actually laughing you just say “LOL”, I’ll slap you. If that wasn’t bad enough now acronyms are too long and emoticons have taken their place, was it necessary to send me a paragraph of emoticons? Do I look like Indiana Jones? I’m not trying to spend thirty minutes deciphering these hieroglyphs.
The New Cool Kids
Just when you thought you were out of high school here comes social media to shit on your parade. Social media sites opened the door for a whole new cool kids table, now everybody bases their worth on how many friends they have. Not that they’re actual friends that you talk to, you know about personal stuff, just any old friend request will do. I actually overheard a twenty something girl bitching because her sister had more Instagram followers than her. Who gives a shit? It’s not like you’re posting the answers to the secrets of life.
Let me make this perfectly clear, unless you’re a food critic and are dining on the finest cuisine available I don’t care what you had for lunch. I don’t care that you just checked in at the gas station, and I don’t care that you just stubbed your toe. Social media gave us a voice, but some people don’t know when to shut up. Updating your status every minute with whatever vapid thought popped into your head is insane and forces people like me to spend hours scrolling. Save the updates for actual news, information and important life updates.
The “Like” Button
I don’t know why among the thousands of Facebook updates we’ve endured they haven’t changed the “like” button. That’s the only option, either I like it or it doesn’t exist. Great! So now I get to deal with people that “like” the most inappropriate things. Why the hell did you “like” my post about my dying grandmother? Did you stop and think “hmmm, I could write words of comfort and condolence but I’m too busy so I’ll just like it.” Stop abusing the like button and take a second to read what you “like”.
Social media has literally made a horrible crime so much easier. Ever had a morning when you wake up and every photo from the last month has been “liked” or commented on? You’ve just been stalked. But you’re one of the lucky ones, most of the time you won’t even know about your stalker. We update everything; where we are, what we’re wearing, how we feel, the life of a social media stalker is easy. Girls and guys alike spend hours trolling your page soaking up every detail of your day and guess what? It’s your fault for making it available.
“Jane Smith has just tagged you in a photo” oh, awesome let’s take a look…wait this is a flyer. There’s nothing more annoying than getting tagged in something that has nothing to do with you. If I’m not in the photo, taking the photo, a part of the conversation, or the host of the event; don’t tag me. If you want my attention, find a better way of getting it.
But I Need It
The absolute worst thing about social media is how much we need it. Beyond just updating friends and family, social media is essential in the modern business world. If someone doesn’t have any social media presence the first thing I think is, ‘what’s wrong with you?” It’s a whole new addiction, most people can’t go a day without checking one of their accounts and it’s not going anywhere.
It would be nice to say one day we’ll go back to a time of handwritten letters and dinner dates, but who are we kidding? Love it or hate it social media is here to stay. We’ll put up with all the updates, advertisements, and stupid status updates until the next big thing arrives.