You may be happy and not even know it.
Everyone in a relationship wants to have a great relationship… but what exactly does that mean?
There’s no right or wrong answer, and that’s because there is infinite variety in what would be an ideal, even “dream” relationship. It’s something you and your partner are both comfortable with.
But there is just one problem… most couples would not recognize that they’re already in their dream relationship because they haven’t given thought to specifics of what that ideal looks like.
In this blog, I’ll help you define your dream relationship with 3 tips. Please read on…
Getting Closer to the Dream…
Do you already have a dream relationship, but don’t realize it?
When some think of a dream relationship, they may think it means they and their partner never fight, they never have a bad day, and they will always agree on where to go out to eat or go on vacation.
That’s a pretty tall order where two unique individuals are involved. A lot of people think that if they argue a lot with their partner, it means they don’t have a dream relationship.
But relationship researchers would disagree. And this is what they’ve found: couples who argue but know how to mend things with each other post-conflict are actually more successful in the long run than couples who never argue.
So set that notion aside… arguing can bring you closer to having your dream relationship. It helps you and your partner—who, if you’ll remember, are two unique individuals with different perspectives at times—reach compromises.
When contemplating what a dream relationship looks like, you have to keep in mind… reality. And the reality is that a lot of assumptions you may have had about what a dream relationship is simply aren’t attainable—unless you and your partner were both pre-programmed robots.
Here are 2 tips for defining your dream relationship:
Dream Relationship Definition Tip #1: Define what You Thought Made a Dream Relationship
The first thing you’ll want to do in defining your ideal relationship is to examine any assumptions you’ve been making… you know, the ones not based in reality. Using superlatives like “always” and “never” are a clue that the expectation may be unrealistic.
For example, if your assumption has been “A dream relationship means my partner and I are always patient with each other,” you have to challenge this assumption. Are human beings capable of always being patient with other human beings? Most likely not, so don’t set an ideal that’s unrealistic and therefore, unattainable.
Dream Relationship Definition Tip #2: Define what Would Make a Realistic Dream Relationship
You may want to consider what, for you, makes a dream relationship. You’ll also want to take into account what your partner’s idea of a dream relationship is, so this would be a good opportunity to sit down with them and ask.
It may surprise your partner to know how many assumptions they’ve been making… and maybe they are happier in the relationship than they’ve realized!
Then, define what a compromise between the two looks like. A dream relationship makes allowances for both partners, so that both have a high level of satisfaction.
For example, if one partner likes to go out every night, and the other partner is a homebody, it can be a constant point of contention between you. But if you have a discussion and reach a compromise between the two preferences, you can better appreciate your relationship.
Otherwise, it can get caught up on this one thing, and both of you are thinking, “This relationship isn’t working… this isn’t my dream relationship.”
Remember, a dream relationship is how you define it, and by taking the time to define it, you will feel empowered toward achieving it.
My best to you in defining your ideal, dream relationship.
What assumptions do you hold about what makes a relationship “dream” quality?
Do you feel more hopeful about achieving a dream relationship once you remove unrealistic assumptions?
Do you think it’s possible to sustain a dream relationship, or will it take continued compromise?
Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.