Meeting Your Match

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Is it good to be with someone that gives it back to you? Get your heads out of the gutter… I am not talking about the return of fellatio, although if they are not returning that favor, get rid of them! Life is too short to be with a selfish partner.  What I mean is someone who you “butt heads” with occasionally or as some put it “meeting your match” Is it good to be with a partner that has a strong personality to match your own?  In my own personal opinion and experiences I have found that dating someone exactly like you is not a good thing but at the same time dating someone who is polar opposite of you is also a failure, but when key elements match up, while keeping your individual, unique differences, strengths, and weakness, you tend to feed off each other and fill in where the other may be lacking. Being able to hold your own and dish it back to your man/women is definitely a sign of compatibility and will only ignite the passion and respect you hold for each other. Those qualities will help to build a strong and meaningful connection and foundation for a healthy relationship.

It is true that sometimes our differences can drive us apart, but when it comes to standing up for yourself and being able to dish it back to your guy, you are showing him that you are not the type of chick who is going to be like “whatever you like” (Think Eddie Murphy, Coming to America). If a man wants a lapdog, he can go rescue one from the pound. I don’t know why so many women think it is cute to be needy and have no real opinions or convictions of their own.  How weak of a person do you have to be to hide who you are or worse change everything you think, feel, and believe for a man?  Even if you were lucky or hot enough to reel one in, if you are this type of woman, with this type of personality, either he is a total WUSS (which is probably a perfect match for you) or he will be getting pretty bored of you real soon. Love grows out of respect and nobody can respect a woman who is constantly acting like a whiny baby cry who has no backbone and never makes her voice heard.

I am not saying women should be hardcore, gangster bitches either, no need to be a mega bitch to the man you like or love and do not go around (slapping your bitch up). There should be a happy medium of sugar and spice, sweet but spunky, silly and sexy. Men want their women to have it all, or at least as much of it as possible. Brains, Beauty, Boobs; able to cook like Martha Stewart and can hang out and watch the game with him and his friends.  Below is a list of the top traits men look for when choosing a partner.

Kick Ass Sense of Humor

People gravitate towards ones who can make them laugh because it shows they are down to earth enough to see the funny side of most situations and will be able to take a joke without going bonkers.  Be careful not to cross the line into being too silly, ditzy, or airheaded… I am not saying you need to be Jim Carrey; women need to have a sexy humor to them, not a three stooge’s routine. Be natural and let your charm and wit shine through.

Use your Brain

The (Marilyn Monroe) days are over, if you are looking for more than a booty call that is. I am not saying you need to be a “Mensa Member” to snag a man, but the whole acting stupid to be cute is so not cute!  (I am talking to you Jessica Simpson)

Be 100% You (unless YOU suck!)

A huge majority of guys are drawn to women with unique, stand out, but not intimidating personalities.  Be approachable and nice and never walk around with the type of attitude that every man that looks or talks to you wants you. That is the biggest turn off to men and even if you are mega hot, your attitude is not! Be nice (not too nice) and approachable (in your own unique way).

For the Love of all that is Holy Be Hygienic

Maintain yourself so that you always smell and look fresh and lovely. It is kind of sad that I needed to even add this to the list but you would be surprised at the amount of single, greasy haired, chipped toe nail polish wearing, wrinkled outfit, hot messes that are walking around complaining about being alone. EARTH TO STINKY, unless you just got back from yoga, was working in the garden, or just had a sexathon; there is no reason for you to not be clean when you leave the house. I am not implying you need to get all decked out to be irresistible. But a shower, clean hair, polished look; all that goes a long way.

Take care of yourself and be Healthy

Men like to be around a girl who can take care of herself as far as eating well, getting enough sleep and exercising. Plus, being healthy makes you more energetic, as well as adding to your confidence. It also shows him that if you take care of yourself, you will also take good care of him and the children you (might have one day). I am in no way saying you need to be a certain weight, just maintain your health and your waistline will follow.

Be Independent

Have your own goals and aspirations besides (meet man, marry him, be housewife and mother) BORING! What happens if your dream man becomes a douche bag and you have no career, life, or $ without him? You are stuck and unhappy with a cheating bastard, or going back to Mommy’s house and having to start all over again. Either option sounds like hell to me.

Just Say No to Jealous Stalking

Ok, so we are women and sometimes our emotions and hormones get the best of us… We are all guilty of saying something stupid or getting mad over nothing (it happens, it’s fine), but being a total crazy, private detective, where nothing is safe from your snooping ways, such as cell phone call logs and text chats, emails and wallets, Facebook and Twitter accounts, than this is just being totally disrespectful and really irritating.  JUST STOP! For one, WTF?! Do you not have enough of your own activities to fill your day with other than your 24-7 search for any clue your man is cheating?  If that is the case, get a hobby, read a book, start a blog, get a friend, or a puppy… The real key here is if you have a legit reason to think your man is up to no good, and you are not a psycho, then he probably is in fact up to no good. Your intuition is usually right so instead of driving yourself crazy, lose the cheater and keep your sanity. Everyone deserves a right to their privacy, just because you are his girlfriend does not mean he signed over all rights to you. This is not the Military and he is not your GI (Girlfriend Issue).

Check Yourself Out

Once in a while take a good look in the mirror to remind yourself of all the things that you like about yourself. Also while you are at it become comfortable with your flaws, get over them, or do something to fix them (if that is an option) you should be your #1 fan. There is a fine line between a coincided bitch and having genuine confidence, so find it and own it.  Being insecure is not attractive, especially when you are a beautiful girl, in fact, it is pretty annoying so quit your bitching.

Be Good to People

Do not be a doormat, but treat people with respect. Guys can easily ignore someone who constantly gossips, nags, insults, teases, and alienates other people, no matter how gorgeous she thinks she is. There is a huge difference in having a battle of wits with someone or playfully teasing than to just being a mean, ugly person! No one really likes the mean girl and you will earn big points in his eyes if he knows you’re a kind, caring person, who knows when to be modest and reserved but not boring.

Be don’t Just Act Sexy

If it is an act it will come off as not genuine and you risk the chance of coming off too sexy and can easily look like a hoe bag (Boo You Whore) no man wants to date that… Or it will look like you are trying too hard and that you aren’t genuinely interested and only putting on a show that you no doubt in his mind put on for all men. *If you are not naturally sexy, do not try to be, just be yourself.

There are hundreds of other ways to improve yourself and your life for you, although these tips do help to find and keep a good quality man, the most important part is that they help mold you into becoming a better woman with or without a man. Be clean, be fun, and be approachable.  Have your own life outside of him, he is not your Sun and you do not revolve around him.  Have confidence and goals. Make sure you are able to stand on your own two feet.

When you are a whole person on your own and you “meet your match” the one who gives it back to you in all the ways that matter, you will find you are in the right place for LOVE to really happen. Life has a funny way of falling into place for us when we are ready for it and not so much when we want it.  It’s kind of like giving a child an expensive toy just because “they want it” well, what is going to happen to that toy? The child is going to destroy it because as much as they “want it” they just were not ready.