How to Get Rid of Clingy Ex


You’ve broken up with that annoying ex and you’re ready to move onto a new relationship. Congratulations!

Only, your ex won’t leave you alone. They keep texting you and saying that they miss you. Or, even worse, they’re showing up outside your place of employment and trying to convince you to get back with them.

In fact, it might reach a point where you just want to use a banishing spell on them! How can you get your ex to leave you alone for good? Well, it is all about setting boundaries with them.

Set them straight

Be blunt with them. Tell them that you’ve broken up and that there is no chance that you’ll get back together with them. If you’ve tried to be nice and gentle with them during the breakup, you need to be more forceful and straightforward. While you don’t want to be mean to them, you also want to make sure that they know their behavior isn’t okay. Even if they start to cry, don’t let the conversation continue or try to comfort them.

Agree what is acceptable

Sometimes, you may have to have some communication with an ex, such as if you work together or if you have a child together. If the two of you have a reason that you need to talk, agree upon what is or isn’t acceptable. For example, if you’re raising a child together, the two of you may decide to only have conversations about the child’s needs. If they change the topic, end the conversation, or remind them to get back on topic.

Stop responding

If you don’t have reason to talk to them and they are still trying to call or text, stop responding to them. Sometimes, if you stop responding, they’ll take the hint and move on. If they get desperate, they may try to use manipulation techniques to get you to talk to them. But even if they’re sending texts about how thinking about you makes them cry, resist the temptation to text them back. While it can be hard, it needs to happen.

Delete from social media

If they are not taking the hint or they keep sending you creepy messages, it is time to delete them off social media and block their phone number. Not only does this make it harder for them to contact you, but it also prevents their posts from popping up on your feed. And if you find yourself tempted to send them a Facebook message, logging on and seeing that you’ve blocked them will remind you that you’re not supposed to talk to them!

Let go of their friends

Depending on how long the two of you were together, there is a good chance that some of their friends are now your friends. However, keep in mind mutual friends are problematic. You never know when you’re going to show up to a party that your ex is also attending, or whether or not a friend is gossiping behind your back. Both of you need to find your own set of friends, so let go of the friends that were originally theirs.

Change the locks

If they have a key to your house or apartment and they’re still randomly popping in, it is time to change the locks. Keeping your locks the same is an open invitation for them to come by whenever they want. Even if they’ve given you back your key, you should still change the locks, just in case they made a copy of your key. And in extreme cases, you may even need to move so they stop waiting outside of your apartment.

Call the authorities

If it reaches the point where they won’t leave you alone despite your attempts to set boundaries or if they’re sending threatening messages, it is time to get your local police department involved. There is a possibility your clingy ex is a stalker. Sometimes, a restraining order is the only way to get that clingy ex to go away. And if you feel threatened, the police department will work with you to find ways to be safe, such as having an office patrol your block more frequently.

Final thoughts

A clingy ex is never a good thing, but sometimes it is just a matter of improving communications and making it clear that you will never get back together with them. Once your ex is out of your life for good, it is time to bounce back and take control over your own life again!

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.