Meeting Women In Bars And Clubs With Maximum Efficiency


There’s a lot of misinformation about meeting women in bars and clubs. In this article, we shed light on the truth and explain how to do it quickly and effectively.

Ahhh, meeting women in bars and clubs…Long hailed as the holy grail of meeting women by guys who haven’t learned how to effectively meet women elsewhere, meeting women in bars and clubs has proven to be one of the most inefficient places to meet really hot, high value women with incredible attitudes who honestly like you.

However, guys keep asking us how to go about meeting women in bars and clubs, so by popular request, here’s how we roll in bars and clubs when we’re looking to meet women there.

To make things clear, we recommend that guys who live in major metropolitan areas meet women outside bars and clubs (and by outside we don’t mean in front of the entrance of the bar or club). Although there are a variety of reasons we prefer to meet women in places other than bars and clubs, the main one is that you can meet hotter and exponentially more women out on the street for only a fraction of the time, money and energy you would invest in any visit to your local happenin’ place or watering hole.

Meeting Girls in Bars And Clubs Quickly And Efficiently

First of all, no ‘wingmen.’

As much as we enjoy a fun night out with the guys, when it comes to meeting women, going ‘hunting in packs’ has repeatedly proven to be slow, ineffective and inefficient…

If you want to spend time with friends, then BE WITH THEM. Be present with your friends. Make it quality time.

If you want to meet women, MEET WOMEN. Doing both at once decreases both the quality of your interactions and the effectiveness of your ability to meet women.

Hilariously, there are some “pick up companies” who teach guys “how to approach women” by recommending they sit around for TWO WHOLE HOURS at the clubs before ever talking to any girls every night they go out. Talk about a bass-ackwards strategy for meeting women!

Meet Women In Bars And Clubs: Step-By-Step

Talk to every woman in the bar or the club.

We do it just as we would anywhere else by approaching them with “Hello. What’s your name?””

Then, if she’s interested in us enough to smile, give us her name and talk with us, we’ll engage her in a light, playful, funny (read about making her laugh here) conversation for about 3-10 minutes before asking for their phone number.

Now some guys might say, “But getting numbers at bars / clubs is a waste of time! Shouldn’t you try to pull a girl home?”

While we fully agree that heading to a bar or a club with the purpose of collecting numbers is a waste of time, and we agree that following up on numbers you get in a bar or a club is also probably a waste of time – asking a woman for her phone number is a litmus test that gives you information: is this woman into you enough and open enough to give you her phone number? If she is, then later on in the night, she might be receptive to a more personal proposal when you come back around to her before leaving.

So, after she gives us her name and her number (or neither), we then wish her a nice evening, and head off to talk to another woman. Sometimes there won’t be any women who we hit it off with, and that’s fine. Simply step to all the attractive ones you see, ask their name and their number, and leave the venue when you’ve talked to all the ones you find attractive.

For guys intent on ‘getting a girl’ that very night, before leaving, go back around to any of the women who were receptive to you and make them a straightforward, direct offer to leave with you. If none are interested, wish them well and leave the venue.

Using this method, we can usually talk to all the attractive women in the largest clubs in major metropolitan areas within an hour or less. Once we’ve talked to all the women we’re interested in at a given bar or club, we go to the next bar and/or club, and repeat until:

  • there are either no more bars or clubs to go to,
  • a woman decides she wants to spend more time with us alone,
  • or we decide to call it a night, go home, get a good night’s sleep and/or work on a project that will bear more useful fruit (learn an instrument, study a language, build a business, practice a martial art, read a book, write a novel, or meet more women on the street / in cafes / at bus+train hubs / in malls after a refreshing full night’s sleep.)

I’m starting to swerve off way off topic from meeting women in bars and clubs, but that’s kind of the point – meeting women in bars IS way off the topic when you want to find hot, high value women of integrity and accomplishment who honestly like you.

And that’s what we’re all about here at Loveawake – to help guys become the kind of Amazing Men that find, meet, attract and continually enjoy Amazing Women of exceptional beauty and accomplishment.

However, we understand that in some living situations, bars and clubs might be the guys’ only option for meeting lots of women quickly. And that’s how we recommend meeting women in bars and clubs.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.