Dealing with Outside Opinions


You’re dating someone, giggly and content. You and your significant other usually find each other’s company euphoric, but you have a tendency to ask your friends for tips regarding your love life. While you know that your receiving advice means you can consider others’ perspectives but not necessarily act on them, your companions consistently attempt to push you in the “right” direction. You usually find that their opinions take a toll on your relationship. The good news, though, is that you can do something about it.

You can handle others’ scrutiny by:
1) not caring;

Before you can truly ignore your friends’ views and not let them affect your ego or your actions, you must condition yourself to be strong enough not to care about their perspectives. All this takes is your having confidence in your relationship. Only you know what goes on between you and your partner and since you are most likely the one who knows him or her the best, only you – and your sweetheart – can decide what course of action is best for your relationship. If your partner has admitted to cheating, promised to be loyal from then on and you believe him or her, then feel free to believe him or her. A skeptic myself, I generally find it hard to give others the benefit of the doubt, but I’ve found that most of the time when an adult says that s/he is going to change, s/he generally does. That is why when others are pessimists about your relationship and you don’t exactly buy their cynicism, you should listen to your own judgment.

2) acknowledging fair advice.

Of course, only you – and your partner – know the details of your relationship thoroughly, meaning only you know what actions are appropriate for the situation. On the other hand, that is not to say you should let your feelings overcome your logic. For instance, pretend your significant other has used you for your wealth throughout the duration of your relationship. Your friends say staying with this deceitful trash bag spells bad news for you. After listening to them, you realize you have no desire to stay in the relationship but are reeled in by your love for your boyfriend or girlfriend. In this case, you should have enough pride to make the rational decision you’re longing to follow rather than let your emotions bind you unconditionally to someone with whom the romance isn’t genuine and with whom you’re unhappy.

Joan Rivers says, “Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.” We would all do well to pay attention to her. Friends can give sound advice at times and you may benefit from taking it, but at other times, there are more solutions to a problem than plotting revenge or calling quits to a romantic partnership. There is always couples’ therapy, discussing the problem with your sweetheart and/or having faith in your partner to change for the better. Slight dilemmas do not always have to inspire goodbyes between lovers. In fact, they can be the beginnings of long lasting bliss.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.