Beware of Best Friends?

best friends
It’s a story as old as the hills: boy meets girl, falls in love, catches girl sleeping with his best friend. Same thing applies with women: girl meets boy, falls in love, catches boy sleeping with her best friend.

What gives?

Surely if you’re friends with someone, the last thing you should do is make a move on their girlfriend or wife, and if the girlfriend or wife was truly in love with them, they’d say no 100% of the time.

Yet, people sure do seem to catch their significant other sleeping with their best friends a LOT. Heck, if you check out the cotton candy for the mind site, you will see a significant percentage of the stories are about best friends and significant others.

To an extent this tracks with the recent study that people who date other people within tight, closed social circles tend to break up at a much higher rate. People get bored, and when they get bored, they look for something new (and forbidden) and often that is a dalliance with a best friend.

People underestimate and gloss over the biological imperative to mate, but it is one of the most powerful human urges and the reason there are 7 billion people on this planet. There is an old saying about stiff pricks and consciences, and this is a saying that is more true than most people would like to admit.

Obviously, you don’t want your girlfriend or wife sleeping with your best friend, and neither do you want to be sleeping with your friends girlfriends or wives. It’s just not cool and, more importantly, aggrieved friends tend to have guns or knives or clubs and use them in such situations.

It is, however, easier to say no when you know you have a lot of options, options you’d consider more appropriate for you than ruining a relationship with a friend forever. The man who can get a yes whenever he desires (and knows it) finds it easier to say no should the situation come up. Secondly, he knows not to put himself in a situation where he has an opportunity that might be hard to resist. Learning the skill of attraction tends to keep you out of trouble.

But what about your wife or girlfriend and your friends? First off, don’t be naïve enough to think one of your male friends might take a liking to your wife or girlfriend, and don’t ever be naïve enough to think she won’t take a liking to him. Biological impulse often overrules reason.

best friendsYou can, however, manage the “risk” by having lots of different friends you spend time with, and not constantly seeing the same people every damn day or weekend. That’s when these things start, when he appears more exciting than you (because she sees you all the time and him some of the time), and that’s reinforced when you associate on a semi-regular basis. But when you have lots of different friends and lots of variety, the risk decreases.

Obviously not all women will sleep with your best friend (would you sleep with hers, hmmmm?), but don’t be naïve or arrogant enough to think one you’re with won’t do it. The biological urge to reproduce overrides a lot of good character traits when you give it a chance to flourish…be mindful of it and it’s power at all times. Hell, it’s the reason YOU are here.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.