Regardless of the grounds, a breakup is a difficult stage of life that always leaves a trace. If you firmly resolve to quit your relationship, check out tips from psychologists that will help you both go through the breakup stage in less pain.
1. Choose the right moment
It is difficult to pick the right time to make such an announcement. The feel of failure, regrets about your mutual past, and hard feelings will chase you both for some time. If it is you who initiates the breakup your partner might go through a considerable decrease in self-esteem level as well.
The best thing you can do when choosing the right moment is to voice-over your intention to end relationships is to make sure there are no family reunions, anniversaries, holidays, or other important events at this point. Think ahead about what to say or write down all the things you want to mention during the conversation.
2. Visit a psychologist
You might think there is no need to work on relationships when it is almost over, however, we believe that it is more reasonable to go for an experienced qualified specialist’s help when having hard times. A psychologist will help you to end romantic relationships in a friendly and not to treat each other hostilely.
A specialist will help you both to listen to each other’s opinions. A psychologist allows you to view the situation from a wider perspective and realize there is no right or wrong but different points of view that deserve respect and understanding.
By the way if you think there is a chance to save your relationship you may need a guide on how to make your partner forgive you.
3. Keep your eye on the future
Some people want to stay friends after a breakup. However, feelings of jealousy and animosity can make this task impossible to achieve. You know your partner well so think ahead of his/her reaction and balance probabilities of different scenarios.
Of course, if you have joint children then you will have to keep in touch from time to time. That is why we believe psychologist help is needed as the end of love doesn’t always mean the end of relationships. Make sure you resolve all the issues as peacefully as possible.
4. Do not be greedy
If you have a joint property you both need to make lists of what would you like to keep. For instance, if something belongs to your family and it is important for you then you should tell about your intention to keep it for yourself straight away.
Some things are not that precious though but make a partner sentimental. You should be generous and let your ex take all those things that seem important to your partner. Being generous can help to break up nicely.
5. Take your time
We can’t say exactly how long it will take to get over a breakup. Different people react differently to such a change in their lives. Some need a week to feel fine again when some need years to feel a complete person again. It is especially problematic when a long divorce proceeding takes place. It is okay to feel a bit empty once a relationship is over. Take your time and focus on yourself before you start dating someone else.
You need to realize all the reasons for this breakup as it will help you to go through this time much more smoothly and to keep faith in love.
Now when you know how to end a relationship let’s talk through things you need to do after a breakup:
- Live. You may feel good or bad after a breakup but you are alive. You don’t disappear when someone leaves your life. You still have your life, job, kids, pets, relatives, lots of interesting and necessary things to do. If you hurt then live through this feeling as well as you don’t want to numb your emotions and get new psychological traumas.
- Let yourself be stupid. It is okay to be illogical after a breakup. You might want to get drunk, meet your ex and get a ridiculous haircut. Don’t put much pressure on yourself and let things you want to happen even if it seems stupid to you or someone else.
- Organize your life. Breakup means freedom. Use your time to make your life better, organize schedules, make and complete to-do lists. This is the time for you and you can fill your life with activities that you like without worrying about your partner’s comfort.
- No one is irreplaceable. Sometimes a breakup makes you feel like you lost the opportunity to build cohabitation with someone special. Especially if you break up with someone you love. You need to remember, there was life before your relationships and it will get back to normal soon. Even though these relationships are the best that has happened to you at the moment but not the only thing that you will have in your life, that’s for sure.
- Keep hoping. Hope for new love, opportunities, meetings, trips, career boost. Faith in the future is a foundation of a successful recovery.
Breakup is a difficult task that is depleting both physically and mentally. It is especially hard when the feeling of guilt is involved. Remember, you are not a bad person. Your happiness must be a priority so you shouldn’t keep dating someone because of a pang of guilt.
As you can see, there are lots of ways to break up nicely. You need to bear in mind your partner’s peculiarities and be honest during this challenging conversation. Honesty and appreciation can help you both to get through this time with dignity and to preserve cordial relations with someone you value and respect.
Oleg Kobets is an experienced blogger and relationship expert. He holds degrees in Sociology and Psychology and is happy to share his theoretical and practical experience.
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